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MissAlice
12-02-2005, 07:38 PM
Can you make me laugh? Can you tell me a joke that I've not heard before? It must be clean and not be mean. Tell me something funny....... and make me laugh ;)

To enter this competition you must be a registered member of our forum. Habbox is giving all its members (NOT STAFF) the opportunity to enter this competition.

The Prize:-
1st - A Lapland, A Tubmaster and a Hammock kindly donated by StylishGalz.
2nd - A Nordic Table kindly donated by Lukeisok
3rd - A HC Sofa kindly donated by Kyle441

Your entry should look like the example below:-

Habbo Name: MissAlice
Your Joke:

What are you waiting for ? Get writing........

And remember to enter this competition you must be a registered member of the Habbox forum.
Follow the link below to go to the competition entry page and click on the post reply icon, and remember to leave your habbo name.

This competition will run until 11th March unless otherwise stated. After that the winner will be chosen and MissAlice will hand over the prizes in Habbo.

One entry per Habbox Member ONLY.
Please read the terms and conditions at the bottom (In Black)

Terms and conditions: To prevent foul play, we only allow one entry for each pc. If more entries are sent using the same pc all the entries will be discarded. You can send in your entry until the competition is closed at some time on March 11th 2005. Please be aware that some competitions may be extended, or even closed early due to the number of entries. The winner will be announced on the site and in this forum and will be contacted by MissAlice to collect the prize. Habbox has the right to close the competition at any time before the competition ending date and the winner will be judged from all the entries received up to that point. ALL Habbox staff are excluded from participating in Competition, unless Competition states they may. This includes trialists who become staff before this Competition closes. Any entries that break the forum rules in anyway will also be disqualified. Prizes must be claimed within two months of the winner/s being announced. Unclaimed prizes will be used again in a future Competitions.

When in the competition forum only post competition entries - Do not post questions or comments it is not the place to do so.

Winners Announced - 13th March
1st Snickers.
2nd Apk
3rd Hustler_Kid

Below are the prizes in the winner's rooms.

OllieRocks
12-02-2005, 08:15 PM
Habbo Name: OllieRocks
Joke: A blow up boy goes into a blow up school, with blow up mates, blow up teachers and a blow up Headmaster. He is really bad and is called to the Headmaster. And he says "You've let down the school, me and yourself" :D

Jase
12-02-2005, 08:19 PM
Habbo name - Tidus004430
A blonde haired woman walks up to a counter and says "hi can i have a big mac and coke plz"
the woman behind the counter says "this is a libaray"
the blond replies "oh sorry *whispers* can i have a big mac and coke plz"

Tomush
12-02-2005, 08:21 PM
Habbo Name - !Hyper

Joke -

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

:) :)

Simzor
12-02-2005, 08:23 PM
Habbo Name: Simzor
Joke: Billy! We are not lost in the forest anymore!
- good! have you found a secret way?
- no, I walked home and founded the map! :D

JustinJM
12-02-2005, 08:47 PM
Habbo Name: JustinJM
One day, an average and polite habbo walks into a room. He sees a hobba hanging out with his friends. This habbo has never really met a hobba before, so he walks up to him and says, "Hello." When 10 seconds pass, he gets kicked out of the room and a message appears saying, "You have been banned for breaking the habbo way, this is why: (Perm Ban) For saying hello without permission :@."

Mr.Mity
12-02-2005, 09:17 PM
Habbo Name: Mr.Mity (uk)
DirkDiggler (us)

Joke: A woman is in the hospital and having a baby. she finally gives birth when the doctor grabs the baby and starts throwing around the room and hitting it against the wall... The woman screams at the doctor and says "WHAT ARE U DOING!" The Doctor Replies "April Fools, it was alredy dead! :D"

Pulchritudinous
12-02-2005, 09:39 PM
Me:'Welcome to Joke of the year 2005, to present the award to the 'Joker', it is Tony Blair!'. *Everyone boo's as Tony Blair walks down a spiral staircase*.
Blair: 'Hello, I'm Tony Blair, and now, the moment you've all been waiting for....the joke of the year is....*he squints at the writing*...me?'
Me: 'Well done Mr Blair, you are the biggest joke of 2005, how do you feel?'.
Blair: Utterly Disgusted *he wipes away tears as the crowd cheers and claps*.

Zylo
12-02-2005, 09:59 PM
I try not to be offensive to blondes... (I'm one my self! We blondes rule.)

Here's the joke.

Habbo name: XS-star
Forum name: Zylo

There's a blonde, brunette and red-head. There each going to be shot at. The red head goes up first. She stnads there and shouts TORNADO! Everybody ducks but the red ehad and she escapes.
The brunette goes up next. She stands still as people get ready to fire and she shouts EARTHQUAKE! Everyone ducks for cover again and the brunette escapes.
The blonde is last up. Everyone gets ready to shoot and she shouts: FIRE! Everyone fires at her.

andrew
13-02-2005, 02:22 AM
Habbo Name: Global
Your Joke: There are 5 people on a plane about to crash, and only 4 parachute's. The first person to speak is an up in-coming NBA star. He explains how he has a strong career ahead of him in basketball, and that he deserve's to live. He grab's 1 of the 4 parachute's and jumps out. Next is super model Tyra Banks. She explains how she, being the beautiful model that she is, deserve's to live, and grabs one of the remain 3 parachute's and jumps out. Now only 3 people remain, a school girl, the Pope, and George Bush. George Bush grab's 1 of the two parachute's left and explains that because he is the President of the United states, he should continue to live, and jumps out. Now only the school girl and the Pope are left. The Pope hand's the final parachute to the girl, telling her that he is gorwing old, and will die soon. He explains that she has a long life ahead of her, and should live. She then replies to him, "That's okay.. George Bush just grabbed my backpack!"

lil.b-balla
13-02-2005, 07:32 AM
habbo name: lil.b-balla
joke: what do you call a guy with no legs, and no arms who likes to swim?
you call him Bob, cause he cant swim he bobs up and down...lol

micky.blue.eyes
13-02-2005, 09:15 AM
habbo name: micky.blue.eyes
(sorry blondes but here is another joke about a blond girl, Im a blond boy :D )
joke: A blond girl goes to the electric ware house and asks the clerk: "I want to buy this tv." The clerk:" sorry, we don't sell too blondes." The blond girl goes back home and is a bit frustrated, but she has a plan. She goes to the hairdresser and she wants her hair black. So the next day the blond girl goes back to the electric warehouse and asks the clerk again: "I want to buy this tv". But thze clerk:"sorry, we dont sell too blondes". The blonds goes back home very angry but shee has a plan. She's gonna shave her hair off. The very next day she goes back to the electric warehouse and again she asks the clerk: "I want to buy this tv". And the clerk:"Sorry we dont sell too blondes". The blonde girl:"What!!¿¿??". "How do you know Im a blond??" The clerk:"Well because this aint a tv, this is a washing machine"
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Edit (by myself) Sorry, I wasn't a staff member when I posted this. I wont delete the joke otherwise somebody might steal it :eusa_shif :eusa_shif

wootzy
13-02-2005, 09:18 AM
Habbo name : Wootzy
Habbox name : Wootzy
Joke : Q : what sings like a depressed cat on steroids? A : Mizki

2hd.
13-02-2005, 09:29 AM
Habbo name= 2hd.
Joke:
Good news! Saddam Husseins been sentenced to the death penalty!
Bad News! David Beckham's taking it!

Gazahu
13-02-2005, 09:32 AM
Habbo Name: Gazahu

Joke:

Q: What did the ghost shake at the party?

A: Her Boo-ty.

Homosexual
13-02-2005, 10:47 AM
Why did the robber paint his/her finger nails green?

Because it looked like they were picking their nose, not robbing!

Painiac
13-02-2005, 10:47 AM
Habbo Name: BenjiVaudeville

If any of the following is forbidden on the forum i will withdraw the joke. Just let me know please :)


Joke:
A paper bag walks into the doctors office and says, "Doctor, I haven't been feeling well lately."
The Doctor replies, "Its a tad odd for a paper bag to request my service but ok then we'll run a few tests. Come back in a couple of days."
A couple of days pass and the paper bag goes back to the doctor's. It says, "Well, what's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "I'm afraid to inform you that you are HIV positive."
The paper bag starts to cry and the doctor comforts him then he says, "Do you have any idea how you could have contracted HIV?"
The paper bag, through its tears, replies, "No, not a clue."
Doctor: "Have you had sexual intercourse without a condom?"
Bag: "No, Im just a paper bag."
Doctor: "Have you swapped bodily fluids with anyone?"
Bag: "I cant do that. Im just a paper bag."
Doctor: "Have you shared needles with anyone?"
Bag: "How dare you? Im only a paper bag."
Doctor: "Well I'm gonna check your medical records, okay?"
The doctor types on his computer and reads down the screen.
Doctor: "Ah-ha! Looks like we've got the reason.
Bag(slightly scared): "Wh..what is it?
Doctor: "Your mother was a carrier."

Thankyou, Im here all week. lol

Ciaran
13-02-2005, 11:08 AM
Habbo name: =Godish=
Im a blonde LOL so im insulting myself 8-)

There is a dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus. They all jump off a building. Who lands first?

If you said Santa Claus or the Smart Blonde, you're wrong.
If you said the Dumb Blonde, you are right. The Smart Blonde will fall first because...
1. There is no such thing as a smart blonde
2.There is no such thing as Santa Claus

..::Tina::..
13-02-2005, 11:36 AM
Habbo name: ..::Tina::..
(I'm a blonde too so if I'm offensive then I'm offensive to myself :eusa_shif )

Three blondes are training to become detectives. A policeman has to test their skills in recognizing a suspect. He shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and the hides it.
'This is your suspect,' he said 'how would you recognize him?'
The blonde stares and then says 'Oh that's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!'
The policeman says 'Well, uhh, that's because the picture shows his, uh, profile.' (meaning it's a side pose)
Feeling slightly flustered by the blondes response, he shows the picture for 5 seconds to the second blonde and says 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?'
The blonde giggles and says 'Ha! He'd be far to easy to catch because he only has one ear!'
The policeman says angrily 'What's the matter with you 2? Of COURSE only one eye and ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile!!!'
Really frustrated at this point he shows the third blonde the picture and says 'Now THINK before you give me your answer. This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?'
The blonde looks at the picture and says 'He wears contact lenses.'
The policeman is surprised 'Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! How did you know he wears them?'
'Easy,' the blonde replies, 'he can't wear glasses because he only has one eye and one ear...'

:) :)

Pixelle
13-02-2005, 11:56 AM
Name: Pixelle
Joke:
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One only but only if the light bulb wants to change :p


Greetings everyone and happy valentine's day :)
Pixelle

Sketti
13-02-2005, 12:30 PM
Habbo Name: Torunt
Joke:
9 blondes and a brunette are hanging off a cliff by a rope. They're trying to swing up but the decide that they are too heavy together so they decide that one of the have to to. After the brunette steps up she says a little speach and just before she drops the blondes all start to clap.

BlueTails
13-02-2005, 12:41 PM
habbo name: bluetails

i ****! and i dont know

Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
When in the competition forum only post competition entries - Do not post questions or comments it is not the place to do so.

Dj_dude007
13-02-2005, 12:53 PM
Habbo Name - Dj_dude007
Joke - (No offense to blondes as I am blonde myself :P)
A red head, a brunette and a Blonde are trapped on a deset island which is 40 miles away from civilization. The Red Head decides to try and swim it. She gets 15 miles out and drowns. The brunette then decides to try and swim it. She gets 20 miles out then drowns. The Blonde then tries to swim it. She gets 25 miles out and says 'I'm tired' and swims back. :)

Slide-Show
13-02-2005, 01:23 PM
What is a deer withoutno eyes?

No Idea

cjharty

pink@fluff
13-02-2005, 03:00 PM
Habbo name: pink@fluff
Here's my joke...

A man walked into a dentists and asked how much it would cost to have a tooth removed.
Dentist: "That would cost $300, sir"

Man: "Hmm thats too much, can you do it any cheaper?"

Dentist: "Why yes of course, without anaesthetic (meaning you would be awake), it would cost $150"

Man: "Gosh, thats still too much, any cheaper options?"

Dentist: "Well..yes, one. If my 17-yr-old apprentice performed the surgery without anaesthetic is would cost just $50. But, between you nad me he's not very good."

Man: "Oh thats OK, $50 is fine. Please book my wife in for Monday."

Habbo name: pink@fluff

miss-t
13-02-2005, 03:29 PM
habbo name: .:.miss-t.:.
habbox name: miss-t
hotel: uk
My entry:

a blonde walks into a electronics store and asks how much is this tv the shop keeper says we dont sell to blondes so she comes bak the next day with a brown wig on and asks how much is this tv and he says we dont sell to blondes, so the next day she comes with a ginger wig on and askes how much is this tv once again the shopkeeper says we dont sell to blondes, so again she comes back the next day this time with a black wig on and asks how much is this tv , the shopkeeper says we dont sell to blondes, so the blonde screams how do you know im blonde ive come with wigs on how did ya know so the shopkeeper says thats not a tv its a microwave.
(lol hope ya like it!btw im blonde bu its only a joke so.....:))

Luayminator
13-02-2005, 03:33 PM
Habbo Name - Luayminator
Joke : Boyfriend and a girlfriend are walking down a park , and they speak
Boyfriend : Can I hold you hand.
Girlfriend : No thanks , its not heavy :D

vanilla1992
13-02-2005, 04:49 PM
Habbo Name: vanilla1992
Joke :

What happened to the wooden car with the wooden wheels and the wooden engine?
It wooden go! :p

Sabu
13-02-2005, 05:47 PM
Habbo Name - 238gamer238
Hotel - UK
Joke -
There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?" The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor." :D

.Cutie2005
13-02-2005, 05:52 PM
Habbo Name - .Cutie2005
Habbox Name - .Cutie2005

Hope You Laugh At My Joke As Much As I Did:-

Tommy - Daddy Can You Sign Your Name With Your Eyes Shut?

Daddy - Why Yes, That's Easy

Tommy - Well Would You Mind Shutting Your Eyes And Signing My School Report Card Please!!

Like My Post People, Please May I Have Some Rep Then!!

G-flow
13-02-2005, 06:02 PM
Habbo Name : frontslide

Joke : Once upon a time there were three habbos. The Three habbos were bored with the Norm and wanted an adventure, Luckily, That same day, they had heard a rumour of a Magical Mountain near the local .com.sg hotel. They thought it was worth a try so they travelled and climbed until they reached there destination. When they were on the mountain peak they saw something odd, a SLIDE! They read the notice beside it and it read " Shout for whatever you wish as you go down this slide and you will land in it" Habbo no.1 was up for it so he said " Ok, I'm going " He jumped onto the slide and Shouted " Mocha Masters! " and he landed in mocha masters, Habbo no. 2 said " ok, its worth a try" So he followed Habbo No.1 and shouted " Hc sofas!!".Habbo no.3 Was the only one left so he decided to go, He totally forgot what he was supposed to do and was having such a good time he said " Weeeeeeeeeee"




Oh my....Thats a long joke lol!

infatuation
13-02-2005, 06:15 PM
Habbox name : Z
Habbo name co.uk : Tattle

Joke: Blonde joke - im a natural blonde so no offense.

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00. Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find a bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it. Finally,the brunette finds the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200.00 for it. The brunette,thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer. The farmer then says 'Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, How about $199.00?
The brunette acceps and buys the bull of her dreams. She has $1.00 left over for her telegram, The telegram guy says its $1.00 per word. The brunette thinks about this and says "Comfortable, write that."
"Comfortable?" the guy questions
"yes, you see she reads slow."

- joke is :comfortable meaning - com for ta ble


lol. :)


Happy Valentines day everyone :D

Kirsty
13-02-2005, 07:44 PM
Habbo Name: starbabe10
My Joke: A Man and a woman are in bed and decide to play a game so the man farts and says 1-0 then the woman farts and says 1-1 and this continues until they reach 4-4 then the man soooo wants to beat his wife badley he trys to do a monster one but he tries to hard and ends up pooing him self (lol) and the wife says what was that? then the man say HALF TIME swap sides!

lol its not very good but o well :P GOOD LUCK ALL

Nielez
13-02-2005, 07:57 PM
Habbo name: NoobForcer
Joke: You are currently riding on a horse, in front of u, theres a fire brigades car. You are being followed by a helicopter. At the left of you, theres a v.cool car. At the right of you, theres a cliff.

Question: How can u make them all stop without communication between you guys without crashing?

Answer: Ask the guy from the roundabout at the carnival to stop it turnin.


(I had a hard time translating it from dutch to english, i was using dictionary i hope u get the joke.. :D )

:eusa_prayhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/Nizbit/Habbox-Slider-Noobforcer2.gif:eusa_pray

version2.0
14-02-2005, 09:43 AM
What do you say to a blonde at work?

Big mac and fries please love.

What do you say next?

I said big mac and fries, not chicken nuggets and coke!!

Sorry for the blonde joke. Only one I know.

Habbo name:version2.0

Moose
14-02-2005, 10:27 AM
habbo name: evilbrandon

WHen does ashlee simpson looks more bad? when shes lyp singing or actually singin?

Jenna
15-02-2005, 01:56 AM
Habbo Name: Jenna9876
Joke:

There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde say a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home

BL!NKEY
15-02-2005, 04:52 AM
Habbo name: BL!NKEY

JOKE:
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled
down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem,
Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am
pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations.
What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that
drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman,
"Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk
and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get
far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled
voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

flyboydavies
15-02-2005, 10:45 AM
Can you make me laugh? Can you tell me a joke that I've not heard before? It must be clean and not be mean. Tell me something funny....... and make me laugh ;)

To enter this competition you must be a registered member of our forum. Habbox is giving all its members (NOT STAFF) the opportunity to enter this competition.

The Prize:-
1st - A Lapland, A Tubmaster and a Hammock kindly donated by StylishGalz.
2nd - A Nordic Table kindly donated by Lukeisok
3rd - A HC Sofa kindly donated by Kyle441

Your entry should look like the example below:-

Habbo Name: MissAlice
Your Joke:

What are you waiting for ? Get writing........

And remember to enter this competition you must be a registered member of the Habbox forum.
Follow the link below to go to the competition entry page and click on the post reply icon, and remember to leave your habbo name.

This competition will run until 11th March unless otherwise stated. After that the winner will be chosen and MissAlice will hand over the prizes in Habbo.

One entry per Habbox Member ONLY.
Please read the terms and conditions at the bottom (In Black)

Terms and conditions: To prevent foul play, we only allow one entry for each pc. If more entries are sent using the same pc all the entries will be discarded. You can send in your entry until the competition is closed at some time on March 11th 2005. Please be aware that some competitions may be extended, or even closed early due to the number of entries. The winner will be announced on the site and in this forum and will be contacted by MissAlice to collect the prize. Habbox has the right to close the competition at any time before the competition ending date and the winner will be judged from all the entries received up to that point. ALL Habbox staff are excluded from participating in Competition, unless Competition states they may. This includes trialists who become staff before this Competition closes. Any entries that break the forum rules in anyway will also be disqualified. Prizes must be claimed within two months of the winner/s being announced. Unclaimed prizes will be used again in a future Competitions.

When in the competition forum only post competition entries - Do not post questions or comments it is not the place to do so.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

flyboydavies
15-02-2005, 10:49 AM
Habbo name: flyboydavies

Joke:
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

Edited by anonymous_fool - Competitions Staff. Please don’t double post, simply edit your previous post.

..Jay
15-02-2005, 05:39 PM
How Come Washing Up Liquid Is Made With Real Lemons However Lemonade Is Artificial?

lindsay789
15-02-2005, 07:35 PM
Habbo Name : frontslide

Joke : Once upon a time there were three habbos. The Three habbos were bored with the Norm and wanted an adventure, Luckily, That same day, they had heard a rumour of a Magical Mountain near the local .com.sg hotel. They thought it was worth a try so they travelled and climbed until they reached there destination. When they were on the mountain peak they saw something odd, a SLIDE! They read the notice beside it and it read " Shout for whatever you wish as you go down this slide and you will land in it" Habbo no.1 was up for it so he said " Ok, I'm going " He jumped onto the slide and Shouted " Mocha Masters! " and he landed in mocha masters, Habbo no. 2 said " ok, its worth a try" So he followed Habbo No.1 and shouted " Hc sofas!!".Habbo no.3 Was the only one left so he decided to go, He totally forgot what he was supposed to do and was having such a good time he said " Weeeeeeeeeee"




Oh my....Thats a long joke lol!


Lol dat was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
When in the competition forum only post competition entries - Do not post questions or comments it is not the place to do so.

lindsay789
15-02-2005, 07:39 PM
:s
Habbo Name: Global
Your Joke: There are 5 people on a plane about to crash, and only 4 parachute's. The first person to speak is an up in-coming NBA star. He explains how he has a strong career ahead of him in basketball, and that he deserve's to live. He grab's 1 of the 4 parachute's and jumps out. Next is super model Tyra Banks. She explains how she, being the beautiful model that she is, deserve's to live, and grabs one of the remain 3 parachute's and jumps out. Now only 3 people remain, a school girl, the Pope, and George Bush. George Bush grab's 1 of the two parachute's left and explains that because he is the President of the United states, he should continue to live, and jumps out. Now only the school girl and the Pope are left. The Pope hand's the final parachute to the girl, telling her that he is gorwing old, and will die soon. He explains that she has a long life ahead of her, and should live. She then replies to him, "That's okay.. George Bush just grabbed my backpack!"
i dont get it :s :s :s :s :s :s :s :s :s

Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
When in the competition forum only post competition entries - Do not post questions or comments it is not the place to do so.

Sabu
15-02-2005, 07:52 PM
Sorry MissAlice and all other Staff;
lindsay789,PLEASE dont double-post,post useless messages and use more than 5 of the same words/smilies!It is time wasting and it does not make you any cooler and will NOT get you any more reputation from your friends!

Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
When in the competition forum only post competition entries - Do not post questions or comments it is not the place to do so.

:.frozen.:
15-02-2005, 08:13 PM
habbox name: :.frozen.:
habbo name: :.frozen.:

my joke well not a joke, a funny story! :D :

One day I had a thaught in my head and I went up to my brother to see if he could answer it! so, I went up to him and said:
"where are we?"
and he said
"in our house dum-dum!"
then I said
"I know! but wheres that?"
"in our street, you know that!"
"ok.... but wheres that?"
"in our country! whats up with all these questions??"
he starts to get annoyed but I carry on...
"where is that?"
"in the city....... :@ "
"and that?"
"in the world!! aargh.. I understand now, this is for your homework! isnt it!?"
"just hear me out bro! so... wheres the world?"
"in our soler system!"
"ok.... and that?"
"How am I supposed to know?... the final frounteer I guess!"
"and that?"
"Arg! shutup!"
"and that?"
"Go Home!!!!"
"and that?"
"ARG! I allready told you where our house is!!!!"
my brother gets agrovated and goes to his room :eusa_wall
and I roll on the floor laughing my head off



I hope you enjoyed it!!! lol It made my family laugh for sure!
sorry this wasent a Joke to be exact but i hope its good enough to be classified as one!!
:) :eusa_ange

Jasmin
15-02-2005, 08:57 PM
Habbo Name : Trixeh

You Probebly Think This is Pretty Lame lol :)

A Guy walked into the doctors
Man: Hay Doc I have a really bad pain In My ear
Docter: Hmmmm Let Me Have a look
*Doctor Looks*
Doctor: Omg ! *Pulls out a 10 pound note*
Man: Is is serious doc ?
Doctor: You Had 10 pounds in your ear
Man: wow ! But it still hurts ?
Doctor: :o *Pulls out another 10 pound note*
Man: wow , but it still hurts
*The doctor carries on pulling 10 pounds out*
Doc: Blimey ! You have 1000 pounds here !
Man: Ahhhh My Ear's better
Doc: Did u just here me ! 1000 pounds Mate !
Man: welll Doc, I havnt been feeling to Grand !!!

Thats a Groaner Lol <3

Kroziun
16-02-2005, 01:33 AM
Man walks into doctor's office for the results to his test.
Doctor, standing near him, says, "Take a seat - I've got some good news and some bad news..."
"Let's hear the bad news first, Doc."
"Well, you only have a week left to live..."
"Wha... Well, if that's the bad news, what on earth is the good news?"
Doctor clasps his hands together, smiles, and makes a golfing swing motion.
"My handicap's down to 3..!"

ClonerJosh1234
16-02-2005, 05:36 AM
A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong. The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"

:eusa_hand :eusa_hand :eusa_hand :eusa_hand :eusa_hand :eusa_hand

Adam$
16-02-2005, 08:05 AM
Habbo Name: ApK
Joke: (see below)

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and the villagers were to be prepared.
Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the winter going to be cold?"
The man on the phone responded, "This winter is going to be quite cold" So the chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared.
A week later he called the National Weather Service again, and asks "Is it going to be a VERY cold winter?"
"Yes," the man replied, "It's going to be a very cold winter"
So the chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again, and asks "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replies, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!" :eusa_danc

:) :)

.Jaggert
16-02-2005, 04:59 PM
Habbo Name : .Jaggert
Joke :
Q : How Do you Fit 4 Elephants Into A Blue Mini ?
A : 2 In The Front, 2 In The Back
Q : How Do You Know When An Elephant Has Been In Your Fridge ?
A : There Is A Footprint In The Butter
Q : How Do you Know When 2 Elephants Have Been in your Fridge ?
A : There Are 2 Footprints In The Butter
Q : How Do you Know When 3 Elephants Have Been In Your Fridge ?
A : There Are 3 Footprints In The Butter
Q : How Do You Know When 4 Elephants Have Been In Your Fridge ?
A : There Is A Blue Mini Parked Outside ! ! ! !

:D Hope You Like It ! ! ! :D
MAKE SURE YOU READ THE WHOLE JOKE
( It Is All One Joke )

ash5768
16-02-2005, 05:03 PM
habbo name: ash5768
Whats the difference between a duck?
One of it's legs is both the same

hellzfrost
16-02-2005, 07:59 PM
Hey, how does Michael Jackson pick his nose ?
From a catolauge.

P.S. Sorry to Michael Jackson fans.
P.P.S. my brother told me this joke.

n8.
17-02-2005, 12:12 AM
habbo name: :.Nate.
joke: (sorta long)
there is a girl that likes to wear skirts so one day a group of guys told her to climb the flag pole for a box for cookies. The girl agrees and tells her mom.
Mom: "those boys just wanted to see your panties never do that again"
the next day the girl is challenged by the boys to climb the flag pole for a bag of chips. She agrees and again tells her mother.
Mom"I told you not to do that. They just want to see you're panties. Once more and you're grounded."
the next day the exact same thing happens and she once again tells her mom
mom: "I told you, they just want to see your panties!"
"its okay mom today i didnt wear any!"

stanfordstud2
17-02-2005, 01:34 AM
Your mom: There is a One story House. Its Blue. Everything in it is blue. The Toilet is blue, the walls are blue, the doors, the ceiling the kids, are blue! the floor is blue. your mom is blue. The pets are blue. The computer is blue. The poop is blue. The noobs are blue. My ipod is blue. Everything is blue!
What color are the stairs???

Other mom: Hmm....Blue?

Your mom HAHA your an idiot, haha i cant believe you said that you mo-ron! how could you be so stupid! GOD! its a one story house you fool! HA! why does it have stairs??? Are they invisable stairs? Huh? You friggin moron?
Yeah, i told you.

DaZombie
17-02-2005, 02:27 AM
Habboname: DaZombie
Joke: (weirdly done but kinda short but long too)
Monotashi: HEY LOOK ITS HIM!
Makina: OOOH!! OOOH!! ITS HABBURGER GUY! UHM I WANT A HABBURGER WITH CHEESE BURGERS!
Monotashi: You idiot thats the pharro! (dont know how to spell)
Makina: For Go? What the... OH! OOH AND MONOTA.... MONO TA....MONYLANA WANTS A HABBUGER TO GO!
Monotashi: Crape......

ttranquility.
17-02-2005, 02:35 AM
Name: Nerdx.x

Joke: When you see a DJ Working his magic,And you dont know whats about to mix And then you see him smile your like :o OMGAH. :p and Then you yell.. THE DJ IS HOTT WOOOO ;]

ClonerJosh1234
17-02-2005, 03:27 AM
This guy goes into a Habbos room and sees theres a hole in his wall. He asks, "Sir why do you have a hole," The man replys my wife did it. Then the guy put a petal patch over it and said, "All patched up." :D

Interject
17-02-2005, 09:01 AM
Habbo Name: Interject
Your Joke: Two nuns get into their car and drive into the forest. As they were driving along , a big vampire jumped out on them and pounced onto the car ( *nuns are scared of vampires* ). The nuns didn't know what to do. Then a message from above came down and said "Show him your cross" (*as in holy cross, vampires are scared of that *). The nuns got out of the car and said "OI, GET OFF MY CAR YOU IDiOT" :D

tim-meister
17-02-2005, 09:17 PM
habbo name: tim-meister

(i am a blonde so dont take this offensivly)

A blonde a redhead and a brunette are on the run from the police they find an abandoned barn and decide to hide in it. When the police find there position they come to the barn the girls decide to hide in some barrels. when the police investigate the barrel with the brunette in she goes bark bark so the police just think it is some stray dogs when they go to the second barrel the redhead goes maioo so they think it is some cats when they go to the last barrel the blonde goes potatoes! they arrest her. :eusa_danc

UKrikki
18-02-2005, 10:46 AM
Habbo Name: UKrikki
Joke: Whats brown and sticky?


A stick :D :eusa_thin

Norsk
18-02-2005, 01:26 PM
Habbo name: Norsk
Joke: A Blonde, A Brunette and a Red head all took an IQ test. The question master asked them, "How many D's in indiana Jones?" The brunette replied, "1" and the Red head replied "1". But the blone asked the question master for some extra time. The man agreeded but looked puzzled. After a long time, the blonde returned. Her answer to the question was "D D D D, D D D, D D D, D D D D D..." (The theme tune).

burny-boy
18-02-2005, 07:24 PM
habbo name : burny-boy1
habbox name : burny-boy

my joke:

a man walks into a bar and takes a foot high man with a piano out of his pocket. "how did you get that?" asked the man next to him. i wished on this magic genie here have a go. the man said "i wish i had a million bucks!" and then 1 million ducks fell on him. "oh! didn't i tell you? he's a bit deaf. when i wished i got a 12 inch pianist.

.mcgovlau.
18-02-2005, 10:00 PM
Habbo: .McGovlau.
Joke: What was the gangsta movie rated? G.....UNIT! :') (made that one up myself)

captain-sin
18-02-2005, 10:48 PM
Habbo Name: captain-sin

Entry : What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?

Anyone Can Roast Beef

miss-borthy
19-02-2005, 11:36 AM
Habbo Name: Miss-borthy
My Joke: A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?''

Then the lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.''

And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''

shaney!
19-02-2005, 11:08 PM
A man was sent to hell for his sins.As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment,he passed a room where an accountant was having a conversation with a beautiful young women."What a rip-off,"the man muttered."i have to roast for all eternity and that accountant gets to spend it with a beautiful young women."Jabbing the man with his pitchfork,the escorting demon snarled,"who are you to question that women's punishment?"

:D :) :p

Snickers.
20-02-2005, 01:56 AM
Habbo name - Dimple.

Long Joke -
Two boy scouts went on a nature hike in the hills picking hickory nuts.
Along the way, they filled their small pails and then started to fill their pockets and shirts.
When they could hold no more nuts, they started down the country road until they came across a cemetery. The boys decided that would be a good place to stop and rest and divide out the nuts.
The two boys sat in the shade of a large oak tree and unloaded their pockets and buckets by dumping all of the nuts in a large pile.
In the process, two of them rolled away and rested near the road. The boys then proceeded to divide out the nuts. "One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me."
As they were doing this, another boy was passing by and happened to hear them. He looked into the cemetery, but could not see the boys, because they were obscured by the tree. He hesitated a moment and then ran back to town.
"Father! Father!" he yelled as he entered his house. "The cemetery. Come quick!"
"What's the matter?" his father asked.
"No time to explain," the boy frantically panted. "Follow me!"
The boy and his father ran up the country road and stopped when they reached the cemetery. They stopped at the side of the road and all fell silent for a few moments. Then the father asked his son what was wrong.
"Do you hear that?" he whispered. Both people listened intently and heard the Scouts. "One for me. One for you. One for me. One for you..."
The boy then blurted out, "The devil and the Lord are dividing the souls!"
The father was skeptical but silent -- until a few moments later as the Scouts completed dividing out the nuts and one Scout said to the other, "Now, as soon as we get those two nuts down by the road, we'll have them all."

Lmao ;D

:) :)

Wallmart
20-02-2005, 03:22 AM
Habbo name: Wallmart

My joke:

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's bottom was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

Thanks a ton :)

-Slam-
20-02-2005, 04:42 PM
xxx
Habbo Name: -=slam-dunk=-

Joke: One day, a blonde was walking down the street. Suddenly she heard a huge chrasing sound, *BANG*, She heard a lady shouting someone help, So the Blonde rushed over curiously and there was a man lying on the floor as he had just been ran over by a car. The women screamed at the blonde to dial 911, the blonde pulled out her mobile phone and began to dial, Then all of a sudden she went blank, The lady yelled, "Come on, This man could be dieing! Whats wrong?", the Blonde replyed " Well I've found the 9 but i can't find the 11!"

He He (No offence to blondes) :D

ThugLikeMe
20-02-2005, 08:15 PM
Habbo Name : ThugLikeMe

Joke :

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Lmao I Fort This Was Funny
But U Might Not :P

-x-Kerrianne-x-
20-02-2005, 08:22 PM
1 blonde, 1 red head and 1 brunette all on their death beds
Brunette Died with a smile on her face because she was on a trampoline
Red head died with a smile on her face because she was in the park
Blonde died with a smile on her face because she thought she was having her picture taken but she got struck by lightening! :D:D:D:D:D real killer! :D:D:D:D:D

CarolineQT2774
23-02-2005, 04:16 AM
Habbo Name: CarolineQT2774
Your Joke:

Christmas Joke!
3 men had to show something that was related to X-mas. One man showed his car keys and said they were jingle bells. One man showed a block of wood and said it was sleigh. Then one man showed ladie's underwear. "What do those have to do with X-mas?" the others asked. "Oh these are Carol's."
(Carols as in Christmas Carols and Carol's as in the name Carol)

OmegaUltima
23-02-2005, 08:28 PM
Habbo name - GhostlyReason

JOKE -

A boy goes up to his father.

Boy : Dad, Is God a man or a woman?

Dad : Well son, He's both..

the next day...

Boy : Dad, Is God Black or White?

Dad thinks for a moment..

Dad : He's both son.. Both.

the next day...

Boy : Dad, Is God Michael Jackson?

.:Bret.Hart:.
23-02-2005, 08:42 PM
Habbo name: .:Bret.Hart:.

Joke-

there were 3 guys. their names were hairy, ****, and Z. they were at the Grand Canyon and met a witch that would give one wish to them if they jump of the canyon. Hairy jumps first. he wishes to be a bird, and he flys away. **** jumps off. he wishes to be a rubber ball, and bounces away. when Z jumped off, he screamed, "HAIRY, ****!!!" and he turns into a hairy d*** and dies


LIKED it? THEN GIMME SOME REP

Azela
23-02-2005, 09:15 PM
Habbo Name - Azela
Joke: GommeInc!


Done ;)

Refocus
23-02-2005, 10:16 PM
Habbo name: WonderGG

Joke:

Bob: Hiya bill, i'v got somthing to tell ya that might shock you...
Bill: what's that bob?
Bob: well i got a bike for my wife!
Bill: WOW! I didnt know she was worth that much!
Bob: yea, it was a really good trade.



(bom bom tshhhh)

gigglez08
23-02-2005, 10:30 PM
Habbo Name: Gigglez08
Riddle/Joke: If there was a plane crash on the border of canada and the united states.. where would the survivers be burried?

:eusa_naug They are survivers!! They cant be burried!! Mwuhaha


:eusa_clap .xi!i[Gigglez08]i!ix. :eusa_clap

:wav:
:wav:

paul!e
24-02-2005, 03:36 PM
Habbo Name : Paul!e

Joke :
I was on the beach, when this little lad came up to me....
He poured something all over my back, and said "here sir, this will make you brown"
... I said 'well what is it ?'
he sed "gravy"




BA DUM DUM TSHHHHHHHHHH

bondish
25-02-2005, 10:52 AM
i dont care what u say but uve never herd this b4 coz i made it up
why does a bee have stiky hair? because it uses a honey comb

Marricked
25-02-2005, 08:06 PM
Habbo Name : Marricked
Joke : A man was sitting eating chips when a dog and a woman went past and the dog started barking excitedly at the chips. The man said can I throw him a bit? and the woman said Sure! so the man picked the dog up and threw him over the fence.

Max
25-02-2005, 08:13 PM
Habbo Name: .:N-Joy:.
Joke:
How to notice a blonde has used the computer:
There is correction liquid on the screen..

Hustler_Kid
25-02-2005, 08:46 PM
Habbo Name: Dialax

Joke:

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

:) :)

totally_crazy
26-02-2005, 08:12 AM
Habbo Name: Sontina
JOKE: Two atoms are walking down a street. The first one suddenly goes: "Oh no, I've lost an electron!", and the second one replies: "Dude, are you positive?"

iain
26-02-2005, 12:47 PM
habbo name: iain-11

JOKE REMOVED
Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
THIS JOKE IS NOT APPROPRIATE AND IS CONSIDERED RUDE.

iain
26-02-2005, 12:49 PM
habbo name: iain-11

Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
PLEASE DONT DOUBLE POST - SIMPLY EDIT YOUR PREVIOUS POST.

jay.....
26-02-2005, 03:47 PM
Habbo Name: Jay.....

Joke:

Three man died and they all went to see if they'll go to hell or heaven. So the judge was waiting on a few saints so he asked them, How did they die? So the first man said: I went home one day and my wife was with another man so i pushed the man on a balcony until he was hanging on to the ledge so i stepped on his hands and he fell in the bushes and didnt die so i threw a fridge on him and he died.I got guilty and i shot myself. The second man said: I went to visit my friend and a mad man came pushed me out on the balcony stepped on my fingers and luckily i fell in a bush. and when i looked up i saw a fridge come out of the sky! And the 3rd man said: Well i was naked inside a refridgerator....

Haha this made me laugh for a while =P

Hehe got another one:

There was a boyfriend and girlfriend and the girlfriend asked the boyfriend: Am i pretty or ugly? so the boyfriend said: Both, pretty ugly :p

/Rossco\
26-02-2005, 05:26 PM
habbo name: rossco2004
old classic :p joke :

There was an irishman, and englishman, and a scotsman,
and they all went on a tour where they came across a cow.
so the irish man tells them "thats an Irish cow",
and the english man replies, "thats definately and english cow,"
and the scotsman argues "nah, obviously a scottish cow...

...its got bag pipes under it" :p :D

Justinegirl125
27-02-2005, 04:34 PM
:D Habbo Name: sailormoondude
Your Joke: Person 1:your funny Person 2 : so r u but looks aren't everything
AND / OR
ok a fat lady walks into a bar with a duck into her arm he bartender goes whered u get the pig the lady says its a duck and the bartenders says i was talking to the duck :D

Puppiez
01-03-2005, 12:32 PM
Habbo Name: Puppy:girl

Joke:
3 men died and went to heaven where they met God. God told them that they had to not step on any living creatures for the next 3 years and if you did there will be a punishment and if u didn't there will be an reward. They said ok. The next day, person 1 steped on a snake and was forced to marry an ugly woman. The second person steped on a snail 2 years later and had to marry an ugly woman. The 3rd year, the 3rd person met God. God said well done. here is ur reward. and this beautiful woman came and said i am ur wife. and he was like WOW! why? he asked. the woman said because i stepped on an ant. :D

This means he's ugly btw..

f@irz
01-03-2005, 05:06 PM
Habbo Name: F@irz
Joke: A guy called quazimodo has to go and ring the church bells every day at 10:00 because the vicor pays him to, one day he goes up to the bell tower. He falls over, his face hits the bell making it ring, losing his balance he falls out the tower and splat on the ground. Later on the vicor is told to identify him at the hospital. "So you know him" The Nurse Asks. "No but his face Rings A Bell ".

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

mcmurtrie
01-03-2005, 08:07 PM
Habbo name:mcmurtrie
Joke:theres this woman she is really fat and she weighs around 30 stone and some1 threw a double decker bus at her and she said who threw dat stone!!!!
lmao
From ashleigh

Plingo
01-03-2005, 08:08 PM
[Could well be the funniest joke ever, i laughed madly at this.]

What is pink and fluffy?
.
.
.
.
PINK FLUFF

*waits for applause* :D

Discountguy
01-03-2005, 09:05 PM
Habbo name: Discountguy
ok heres my joke

A man walks into a bar and bets the barman £50 he can fart the National Anthem. The bar man agrees and shakes on it.

The next minute the guy squats up on to the bar pulls down his trousers and makes a mess all over the bar. The bar man shouts in discrace " WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING" the man replies "hey even Pavarotti has to clear his throat befor he sings"

what did u think of it :eusa_clap

Emerica
02-03-2005, 02:04 AM
Well My habbo name is .x.Adrenaline.x. and my login name is habborocks.

Ok here is 2

A man walks into a building and says doctor doctor, I Need glasses and the man says you sure do sir, this is a restaraunt. :s :rolleyes:


:S that was bad but o well

ok heres next


a blonde walks into a party and a lady says excuse me, some advice.... when you put tissues in ur bra.. take them out of the box first.

?-Doc-?
02-03-2005, 11:35 AM
Sit Back Alice , Habbox, and Readers Since this Story/Joke Is Quite Long :)
Hey Everyone :) Now. First Off This is an oringal joke :) i was "inspirred" By A baby Column. No dont ask me WHY lol. i have a big sister. anways. Its Original, so u'll probably havent heard of it and its not that funny. ^^ i dont expect to win ( as i never do :P ) And i Hope u Enjoy ! :) Forum Name : ?-Doc-? Habbo(uk) name : ?-Doc-?

Ok :) "The Baby Problem" By ?-Doc-? :P Ready ? :)

In the Year 2009 where habbo had expanded to over 700,000 countries
and there are new furni every month ^^.. recently the habbo "babies" were realeased into the catalouge. These worked simliar to Pets.
Every year tey would grow and you would have to care and feed these babies. Now when they turn older ( lets say 6 years old ) You will have to buy a new one :) Isnt that just ... "Neat" ? :)
-
Well One Day Habbo Visited Haboo since they were a happy married habbo couple :) They had been married for 1 month now and recently just had a baby. Now Mrs Habbo was with the baby and Mr Habboo went to visit her :)
he saw the baby's name and was SHOCKED ! he quickly called the doctors assistant ( me ) he asked me why his baby was named "savage". I had replied. " well sir , i do recall your baby biting one of our nurses "
He was shocked. He quikly answered back.
"Really?! Omg. But he .. cant be a savage!" He obviously was having a breakdown.
Now you might be thinking "savage" ? What on earth?!
Well i had just realised the sign said "gavage" so i explained to Mr Haboo
That a gavage was a baby that had to be fed by a tube. Not "savage" but
"Gavage" and i told him that nothing was wrong with the baby , and that the baby and his mother will reunite with him in a few days.
-
He was relieved when he heard the good news. he asked me quite a .."
Stupid question ... I didnt reply staright away sicne in knew he was rather dimwitted. I left it for a few days then answered him. The question was
" My baby didnt really bite one of the nurses did he? "
I began to laugh. I didnt say it out loud but it was quite unlikely since the
baby was just born AND HAD NO TEETH :)
-
:eusa_wall :eusa_clap :eusa_danc
Thanx for Reading My Story ^^ Good Luck Everyone. Good Luck Me ^^
I mite need it from all these Great jokes .

Katie
02-03-2005, 11:38 AM
Habbo name - Kaydee. with .
Joke - a blonde walked into a furni shop and asked for a small pair of curtins.
The owner said "Why sucha small pair?"
The blonde said," My computer has windows".

Baker86
02-03-2005, 11:52 AM
Habbo Name: Baker86
Your Joke: Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" :eusa_clap

gigglez08
02-03-2005, 03:42 PM
1. Theres a girl hanging from a tree with a rope tied round her waist then a man comes up and says "What are you doing with that rope?" the woman replys "Trying to hang myself but it hurt too much to put the rope around my neck"

2.Theres a Chinese man, An asian man, and a newphy
The Chinese man walks into the room and snaps his fingers and says "Ive got the rythem of the rythem of the radio"
The asian man does the same
The nephy comes in and says shaking his hand "Ive got a boogie on my finger and it wont let go!" :eusa_danc

(Sorry to the newphys out thur but I couldn`t think of anything els to put ;) )
__________________________________________________ _____________
By Gigglez08
__________________________________________________ _____________
Try your best to do your best! :wav:

PureQuest
02-03-2005, 05:06 PM
Habbo Name : Pure-Ant

Joke : 3 guys are walking bck from a pub when all of a sudden they get kidnapped, the kidnappers take the 3 guys (john,jake,jack) to a tropical forest.
in the forest they tell them to bring back 5 of their favourite fruit, john comes back with 5 apples so they explain the rules ....
What u have 2 do is ram all 5 up ur butt without laughing or crying otherwise u get shot in the face and killed.
they manage to ram 2 apple up johns butt but he cried so they kill him.
Jake walked bck with 5 grapes and he gets 4 up but laughs so they kill him
*in heaven*- john:why did u laugh jake u were doing so well???......
jake: sorry i couldent help myself, i saw jack with 5 PINEAPPLES
:D :p :)

Foks
02-03-2005, 05:07 PM
Habbo = oxop

www.adamchance.com/funny.htm
Its not all that clean but i was wetting my self reading it :) :eusa_danc

:Mongles
02-03-2005, 05:21 PM
Gwenith pultrow had a baby and called it Apple right? But she wanted anther so she could have a pair.

Infrontation
02-03-2005, 05:51 PM
Habbo Name - Infrontation
Joke - A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Racoon
04-03-2005, 09:19 AM
Okay i only have 2 jokes so listen up 4 em all!


habbo name:hob.****!
joke:Why did the chiken cross the road? To get to the other side! Did you think that was funny? No! Neither did he becuz the shops were shut! :D

habbo name:hob.****!
joke:Why did the blonde look up at the lightening??? She thought she was having here picture taken! :D

Srry if dat 1 waz offencive but am blonde ma self!

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

cotswoldrob
04-03-2005, 04:23 PM
a man was swimming the english channel he got half way across, dint think he could make it so he turned and swam back

fizzlenizzle07
06-03-2005, 02:59 AM
Habboname-fizzlenizzle07


$500 Porsche

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.

"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"

"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money."

fizzlenizzle07
06-03-2005, 03:57 AM
Habbo name-crazy?!


A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son


Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma

Edited by MissAlice - Competitions Manager
THE RULES ARE CLEAR ONLY ONE ENTRY PER MEMBER.

fizzlenizzle07
06-03-2005, 04:10 AM
only take the second joke sorry i sent your two

Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
PLEASE DONT DOUBLE OR TRIPLE POST - SIMPLY EDIT YOUR PREVIOUS POST.

iGod
06-03-2005, 07:31 AM
Habbo name: Witelink

Ma Joke: A woman is stuck in the top floor of a burning building, screaming and trying to drop her baby for a fireman to catch. Then a man comes over and says "drop your baby i will catch it"
"how can i trust you" replied the woman.
"I'm Neil O'Connor, 10 year number 1 keeper for ireland, in my time ive never let a goal past me."
"well ok" shouts the woman and drops the baby. As the baby falls its clothes get snagged on an outsticking window ledge and it spins off to one side. It looks as though the baby will fall and the keeper will not be able to get to it in time. But the keeper suddenly leaps 10 feet across the road and catches the baby in a perfect save. THe crowd all cheers but suddnely stop as the baby is bounced twice on the ground before being kicked 60 yards up the road.

Racoon
06-03-2005, 10:58 AM
Habbo = oxop

www.adamchance.com/funny.htm
Its not all that clean but i was wetting my self reading it :) :eusa_danc
wow that was rude lol funny though!

.:.KieranP33.:.
06-03-2005, 12:20 PM
Name: .:.KieranP33.:.
Habbo name: .:.KieranP33.:.
Joke: I have a dog with no legs and i called it cigarette. The reason i called it that is that i take it for a drag every night. :eusa_danc :eusa_danc :D

kk24
06-03-2005, 01:03 PM
joke:2 blondes walk in to a bar. you think 1 of them wud av seen it.
:eusa_clap

kk24
06-03-2005, 01:06 PM
how does a fat person spell refridgeirator. o i c u m t

Feelix101
07-03-2005, 11:12 AM
Habbo Name:feelix101
Joke:

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night.
He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.

Thanks for the other jokes there pretty funny i hope use like this one for the fun of it aswell thanks to other habbox members cyaz all!!!!!signed feelix101

One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, ''Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.'' Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"

LOL HAVE FUN YALL!!!:)

Hunteh
07-03-2005, 05:35 PM
Habbox Name: Hunteh
Habbo Name: Mabehu

Joke: Have you heard of Michael Jacksons new band? It's called the Jackson 5 & Under.

.::Hunteh::.

finolastar93
07-03-2005, 09:43 PM
Habbo Name: Finolastar93
Habbox Name: Finolastar93
Jokee:-

A boy in Reception (3 years/4 years old) had to go home to learn the first for letters of the alphabet. He went home and firstly asked his older sister what the first letter was. She shouted 'GET LOST!' he then went to his Mum who was on the phone to her friend...the boy thought that she was talking to him and she said 'Oh Well!'. Next up, he decided to go to his Dad who was talking to someone at the front door, the boy heard his Dad say 'Fine then, whatever' to the person at the door, thinking he was talking to him. Finally he went to his younger brother who was about 2 years old. He was playing with his cars and fire engines. The boy heard his brother saying 'Brum Brum In My Fire Truck!'

The next day, the boy went into school and the teacher asked what the first letter of the aplhabet was he replied with 'GET LOST!' The teacher then said 'How dare you say that?!' He replied with the 2nd letter of the alphabet as he thought and said 'Oh Well!' The teacher then said 'Do you want to go to the head teacher?!'. The boy answered the teacher with 'Fine then, whatever' The teacher was starting to get angry and then said, in her calmest voice she could but with a tint of anger, 'How you gonna get there then!?'. The boy finally replied with 'Brum Brum In My Fire Truck!' :D :D

sosofly35
07-03-2005, 11:58 PM
one day mr.piggy was walkin down the street he stumbled upon jemima and said can i have a pancake jemima said sure sweet with syrup..the piggy said, of course, jemima made the biggest pancake in the world the pig took a bite and said thats disguesting throw it out....jemima got mad..THE END.....did i mention jemima had pig in a blanket for breakfast.lol :eusa_clap...... :eusa_pray...i pray mr piggy led a good life...

-xMaceyx-
08-03-2005, 04:58 PM
Joke = A panda walks into the resturant and he eats shoots and leaves :)

Lol hope u like! :eusa_danc

Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
POSTED WHILE ON TRIAL.

-=rooty987=-
08-03-2005, 06:33 PM
Name : Skibs

Joke : (sorry to all townies for these jokes)

Q. What do you call a townie in a box?
A. Innit.

Q. What do you call a townie in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.

Q. How can you tell a female townie virgin?
A. She can run faster than her brothers.

Q. What do you call a townie on a bike?
A. A theif

Q. What do you call a townie in a car?
A. Arrested

Q.What do you call a townie waiting in a bus shelter?
A. At a party.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?
A. Failed.

Q. What do you call a 12 year old townie girl?
A. Pregnant.

Q. What do you call a townie girl without any children?
A. Under the age of 5.

Q. What do you call a townie in a skatepark?
A. Lost.

Q. Why did the townie cross the road?
A. To punch someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

Q. Whats a townies favourite car?
A. One without an alarm.

Q. Why did the Townie stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
A. Because it had 'concentrate' on it.

Q. What do you say to a townie in a suit?
A. Will the defendant please stand.

Q. What did the little towny say to the bigger towny?
A. Can you get served?

Q. Why do townies constantly rev their engines?
A. So they don't cut out.

Q. What do you call a townie in a jar of honey?
A. Sweet!

Q. What do you call a townie in a coffin?
A. A damn good reason to kill another.

Q. What do u say to a boy racer when he is circling?
A. Are you lost?

Q. What do townies use as protection during ***?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. What do you say to a townie with a job?
A. Can I have a Big Mac please?

Q. What is a townies favourite ice cream?
A. Mint!

Q. Whats the difference between a dying townie and an onion?
A. Onions make you cry.

Q. What have townie girls got in common with turtles?
A. When they're on they're back theyre ****...ged

Q. What happens to a thought in a townies head?
A. It dies of loneliness.

Q. How does a townie girl turn the lights off after se.x?
A. She closes the car door.

Q. How many townies does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5. 1 to put it in, the other 4 to tell him "innit, innit, innit, innit".

Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?
A. Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.

Q. What do you call a townie in hell?
A. Wicked.

Q. WHat do you call a townie in a fridge?
A. Chillin'.

Q. What do you do if you run a townie over?
A. Slip it into reverse just to make sure.

Q. What do you call a townie in an iron box?
A. Saphe.

Q. What do you do if you shoot a townie?
A. Reload.

Q. What do a war veteran and a used townie condom have in common?
A. They both live to fight another day.

EDIT by properclone - Don't avoid the filter!

habbox-superstar
08-03-2005, 07:14 PM
habbo name= hi
joke= hi
lmao
im good

Scriptermone
08-03-2005, 07:45 PM
Habbo name : xxJ-KWONxx
Forum name : Lomen22
Joke:
Once there was a blonde woman on the bed in the nu..,de then there is a knock at the door
Blonde: "Whooooo is it?"
(person): "It's the blind man"
Blonde opens the door and the man says: "Nice Breasts where do you want the blinds?"
Lol I love that one, Mod sorry if tis rude :)

:Mongles
09-03-2005, 03:36 AM
Gwyneth Paltrow had a baby right, and she called it Apple, but she wanted another so she could have a pear.

Pixel-Juice
10-03-2005, 04:37 PM
Habbo Name: pixel-juice
Your Joke:A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''
Confused, the bartender says no.
''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''

;) :eusa_clap :eusa_danc

hedgeog325
10-03-2005, 05:29 PM
habbo name= hedgeog
my joke:
A man rings the doctor and says... 'Doctor doctor! i have 99 seconds to live. what shall i do? Doctor replies 'wait a minute'

pi-n-ky
10-03-2005, 05:41 PM
habbo name: pi-n-ky
joke:A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure didn't!" :eusa_danc :eusa_pray :eusa_wall :eusa_clap :eusa_thin :redface_b

xsaucy-stephx
10-03-2005, 07:37 PM
Habbo Name: xsaucy-stephx
Entry:
The first step is admitting your a rageaholic, the last step is giving up rageahol!
=p

not funny in writing, better when you hear it

Steph
x

thebusyman
10-03-2005, 07:48 PM
Habbo Name: thebusyman
Joke: A skeleton with the remains of blonde hair on her head was found at the back of a closet.... who was she?

Last year's hide and seek winner

matt92
10-03-2005, 10:15 PM
buddy..2

sorri this is late when i saw about make me laugh i just had to show this joke:

*****Wittle Wabbit *****


A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."



:Sign10:
:werock:
:eusa_clap
:wav:




I LOVE HABBOX 4 EVA!!!!!!!!!!! callie ur a great HM and everyone who works on habbox


buddy:6 <<<<<<<my best cousin ever

Raza786
10-03-2005, 11:17 PM
habbo name: raza786
your joke: why should pepole not flood? (theres two reasons)
because
1.it's against the habbo way
2.some pepole can't swim hahahahahahahaha

Raza786
10-03-2005, 11:23 PM
habbo name: raza786
your joke: there was a irish man a english man and a scottish man they were all lost in the middle of the dessert they found a lamp they rubbed it a guy cam out he said you have one wish each the scottish and english man said i want to go home but the irish man wasn't sure what to wish for so he thought he should ask the english and the scottish man so he siad i wish my friends were back here so they were both back there and all of them so there was no point of the guy from the lamp hahahahahahaha

Edited by MissAlice - Competitions Manager
Please read the terms and conditions as followed. To prevent foul play, we only allow one entry for each pc. If more entries are sent using the same pc all the entries will be discarded.

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