Times when Commentators should keep it shut

[brapbrap]

What quotes would have been better if the commentator and kept it shut :D.


Mine would have to be:

"3-0 Game well and truely over" Andy Gray May 2005


Yours?

[Jamie!]

Forgot his name now but when that guy said something racist on live tv about Marcel Desialy (sp?)

And when the TV presenter was doing the scores and he said something about the Scottish Cup Final Game then went...'well lets get back to football' lol

[Hecktix]

All commentators are appalling.

Im a vivid British Superbikes fan and the commentators are useless.

Last lap of the race:

"Oh God Thats Haslam Down!" indicating he had come off his bike
"Ok Race Victory to Leon Haslam!" indicating he had won the race???

[Acidulantes]

I dont like it when commentators dont state the obvious... they kinda work their way around it... like when someones blatantly dived they dont say oh come on get up like the rest of us... they say, well I didnt see anything wrong with it... sheesh them guys annoy me lol...

[brapbrap]

Just a FEW (:D) More; worth the read:


'He signals to the bench with his groin' - MARK BRIGHT

'Once Tony Daley opens his legs, you've got a problem.' - HOWARD WILKINSON

'Ray Wilkins' day will come one night' - BOBBY ROBSON

'Most of the players will be wearing rubbers tonight.' - GARY LINEKER

'St Mirren have been under the rack.' - CHICK MURRAY

'The Saudis would struggle in Europe because of that problem with those prayers five times a day.You don't know if they're going to turn up for training.I'm being serious.' - DON HOWE

'He's chanced his arm with his left foot.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'It's the end of season curtain raiser' - PETER WITHE

'They're still in the game, and they're trying to get back into it.' - JIMMY HILL

'Signori has all the tricks up his book.' - RAY WILKINS

'It was one of those goals that's invariably a goal.' - DENIS LAW

'I'd say he's the best in Europe, if you put me on the fence.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'Glenn is putting his head in the frying pan.' - OSSIE ARDILES

'We're not used to weather in June in this country.' - JIMMY HILL

'England now have three fresh men,with three fresh legs.' - JIMMY HILL

'It's a case of him (Eric Cantona) losing les marbles.' - GARY LINEKER

'Di Matteo's taken to playing in midfield like a duck out of water.' - PETER OSGOOD

'Poor Miklosko. Hasn't had to make a save yet he's let three goals in.' - TREVOR FRANCIS

'There's Bergkamp standing on the halfway line, with his hands on his hips, flailing his arms about.' - JOHN SCALES

'If England get a point, it will be a point gained as opposed to two points lost.' - MARK LAWRENSON

'Hagi has got a left foot like Brian Lara's bat' - DON HOWE

'Hagi could open a tin of beans with his left foot' - RAY CLEMENCE

'There's no width on the wings.' - ANDY GRAY

'We are now in the middle of the centre of the first half' - DAVID PLEAT

'The lad got over-excited when he saw the whites of the goalpost's eyes.' - STEVE COPPELL

'To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.' - RUUD GULLIT

'A game is not won until it is lost.' - DAVID PLEAT

'Wimbledon are putting balls into the blender.' - RODNEY MARS

'Unfortunately, we don't get a second chance. We've already played them twice.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals.' - PETER WITHE

'That's twice now he [Terry Phelan] has got between himself and the goal.' - BRIAN MARWOOD

'Stoichkov is pointing at the bench with his eyes.' - DAVID PLEAT

'I think it's that lack of width with his height.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'If you just came into the room and didn't know who was who you'd obviously say Newcastle looked the most likely to score.' - TERRY PAINE

'If there's a weakness in Chelsea's defence, it's in their defence.' - Radio 5

'Brazil, the favourites - if they are the favourites, which they are...' - BRIAN CLOUGH

'If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again.' - TERRY VENABLES

'They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around.' - TERRY VENABLES

He has got perfect control over the ball right up to the minute he lets it go.' - PETER WALKER

'They're all on top of their game - fans and players alike.' - DAVID FAIRCLOUGH

'They've missed so many chances they must be wringing their heads in shame.' - RON GREENWOOD

'If you're going to score one goal or less, you're not going to get your victories.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'Mirandinha will have more shots this afternoon than both sides put together.' - MALCOLM MACDONALD

'The Arsenal defence is skating close to the wind.' - JACK CHARLTON

'He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'He has a great understanding of where the goalkeeper is in relationship to the goal.' - DAVID PLEAT

'With eight minutes left, the game could be won in the next five or ten minutes' - JIMMY ARMFIELD

'Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'That's football Mike - Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored, but England have had no chances and scored twice.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'Fortunately, Paul Scholes' injury wasn't as bad as we'd hoped for.' - TREVOR BROOKING'

'I think that their young legs would have found younger hearts inside them.' - JIMMY ARMFIELD

'He's got a brain under his hair.' - DAVID PLEAT

'If there are any managers out there with a bottomless pit, I'm sure that they would be interested in these two Russians.' - DAVID PLEAT

'Ronaldo is always very close to being onside or offside' - RAY WILKINS

'Tottenham have impressed me : they haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun.' - BOBBY ROBSON

It's end to end stuff, but from side to side' - TREVOR BROOKING

'He [Brian Laudrup] wasn't just facing one defender : he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well.' - TREVOR STEVEN

'He'll be giving everything, but he hasn't got everything to give.' - IAN ST JOHN

'Football's football: If that weren't the case it wouldn't be the game that it is.' - GARTH CROOKS

'And there's Ray Clemence looking as cool as ever out in the cold.' - JIMMY HILL

'It's one of the greatest goals ever, but I'm surprised that people are talking about it being the goal of the season.' - ANDY GRAY

'There's no way that Ryan Giggs is another George Best : he's another Ryan Giggs.' - DENIS LAW

JIMMY HILL: 'Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?"TERRY VENABLES: 'I think it's fifty - fifty'

'The Brazilians aren't as good as they used to be, or as they are now.' - KENNY DALGLISH

'He hit the post, and after the game people are going to say, well, he hit the post.' - JIMMY GREAVES

'It may have been going wide, but nevertheless it was a great shot on target.' - TERRY VENABLES

'He held his head in his hands as it flashed past the post.' - ALAN BRAZIL

'It's like a big Christmas pudding out there' - DON HOWE

'Zola's got two feet.' - DAVID PLEAT

'Venison and Butcher are as brave as two peas in a pod.' - JOHN SILLETT

'He was as game as a pebble.' - DAVID WEB

'It wasn't a bad performance, but you can't tell whether it was good or bad.' - JIMMY HILL

'The keeper was coming out in instalments.' - JOE ROYLE

'I'd like to see him scoring two or more goals in games which United win 1-0.' - BRIAN WOOLNOUGH

'They've come out with all cylinders flying.' - LUTHER BLISSETT

'Germany are probably, arguably, undisputed champions of Europe.' - BRYAN HAMILTON

The teams at the bottom of the premiership are conceding a lot of goals and that's no coincidence.' - BARRY VENISON

'I think that France, Germany, Spain, Holland and England will join Brazil in the semi-finals.' - PELE

'Fiorentina start the second half attacking their fans; just the way they like things.' - RAY WILKINS

'The Newcastle back three, back four, back five have been at sixes and sevens.' - BARRY VENISON

'He [Ian Wright] is missing the absence of Dennis [Bergkamp].' - BRIAN MARWOOD

'It was a definite penalty but Wright made a right swan-song of it.' - JACK CHARLTON

'In the words of the old song, it's a long time from May to December but, you know, it's an equally long time from December to May." - JIMMY HILL

'I'd be surprised if all 22 players are on the field at the end of the game - one's already been sent off.' - GEORGE BEST

'He [Beckham] has two feet, which a lot of players don't have nowadays.' - JIMMY HILL

'They [Manchester United] are breathing down the heels of Liverpool now.' - GARY NEWBON

'We signed to play until the day we died, and we did.' - JIMMY GREAVES

'They'll perhaps finish in the top three. I can't see them finishing any higher.' - DON HOWE

'Kevin Keegan has now tasted the other side of the fence.' - DAVE MERRINGTON

'Martin Keown is up everybody's backsides.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'Preki quite literally only has the one foot.' - DAVID PLEAT

'Like Jim Smith's (Derby) side this year, we were answering our own questions.' - KEVIN HECTOR

'I wouldn't be surprised if this game went all the way to the finish.' - IAN ST JOHN

'Apart from their goals, Norway wouldn't have scored.' - TERRY VENABLES

The Croatians don't play well without the ball.' - BARRY VENISON

'He never fails to hit the target. But that was a miss.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'Manchester United have hit the ground running - albeit with a 3-0 defeat.' - BOB WILSON

'That's no remedy for success.' - CHRIS WADDLE

'The World Cup is every four years, so it's going to be a perennial problem.' - GARY LINEKER

'The gelling period has just started to knit.' - RAY WILKINS

'Emmanuel Petit has won more medals than any other player in the Premiership this year, although Patrick Vieira's won the same medals.' - BRIAN WOOLNOUGH

'To be fair, I don't think Les Ferdinand was fouled there - I think he went over on his own ability.' - ALAN MULLERY

'Well, I've seen some tackles, Jonathan, but that was the ultimatum!' - ALAN MULLERY

'...Jurgen Klinsmann, who refutes to earn £25,000 a week.' - ALAN MULLERY

'He's not going to adhere himself to the fans' - ALAN MULLERY

'It doesn't endow me, to be honest...' - ALAN MULLERY

'I can't understand the notoriety of people' - ALAN MULLERY

'It's sometimes easier to defend a one goal lead than a two goal lead.' - MARK LAWRENSON

'Pires has got something about him, he can go both ways depending on who's facing him.' - DAVID PLEAT

'Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball.' - IAN ST JOHN

'He just got his body between himself and the goal.' - RAY CLEMENCE

'Even if you tap it in from one yard it counts in the record books as a goal, unlike the chances you miss.' - JIMMY HILL

'Korsten is making a meal of it...er...that's clearly a penalty, yes.' - TREVOR FRANCIS

'For such a small man Maradona gets great elevation on his balls' - DAVID PLEAT

'He's a great little player...who scored it again?' - JACK CHARLTON

'We were a little bit outnumbered there, it was two against two.' - FRANK MCLINTOCK

'If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal.' - JIMMY HILL

'They have got their feet on the ground and if they stay that way they will go places.' - JOHN GIDMAN

'You're always going to be struggling if you haven't got a left foot' - TREVOR BROOKING

'That's a 14-15 pointer there if there ever was one.' - BARRY VENISON

'There won't be a dry house in the place.' - MARK LAWRENSON

'The candle is still very much in the melting pot.' - ALAN MCINALLY

'The Scots have really got their hands cut out tonight' - TREVOR FRANCIS

'When Celtic get an opportunity to go above Rangers they've got to jump at it with both hands.' - ALAN MULLERY

'Guppy has a dextrous left foot.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'Flo literally turned Taricco inside-out.' - TREVOR FRANCIS

'That was a needle through the haystack job.' - CLIVE ALLEN

'Mick McCarthy will have to replace Cascarino because he's quickly running out of legs.' - MARK LAWRENSON

'All the cul-de-sacs are closed for Scotland' - JOE JORDAN

'Hearts are now playing with a five man back four.' - ALAN MCINALLY

'The tackles are coming in thick and thin' - ALAN BRAZIL

'The club has literally exploded.' - IAN WRIGHT

'He's like all great players - he's not a great player yet.' - TREVOR FRANCIS

'If that ball had crossed the line, it would have been a goal.' - ANTONIO RATTIN

'Historically, the host nations do well in Euro 2000.' - TREVOR BROOKING

'For Burnley to win they are going to have to score.' - CHRIS KAMARA

'It was easier to miss than score.' - CLIVE ALLEN

'We're calling him the young player of the year, but he's only 20 years old.' - ALAN MCINALLY

'Dunfermline have a difficult month ahead over the coming 2 or 3 weeks.' - **** CAMPBELL

'If Glenn Hoddle had been any other nationality, he would have had 70 or 80 caps for England.' - JOHN BARNES

'The team must try to get their ship back on the road.' - RAY WILKINS

'Kevin Keegan said if he had a blank sheet of paper, five names would be on it' - ALVIN MARTIN

'That would have been the icing on his start.' - DAVID PLEAT

'He's a two-legged tripod, if you know what I mean' - GRAHAM RICHARDS

'They only count when they go in the goal' - CHRIS KAMARA

'Barnsley have started off the way they mean to begin.' - CHRIS KAMARA

'I don't want to be either partial or impartial' - FRANK MCLINTOCK

'If there's one thing Gus Uhlenbeek's got, it's pace and determination' - RAY HOUGHTON

'The problems at Wimbledon seem to be that the club has suffered a loss of complacency' - JOE KINNEAR

'They've been out a long time - credit them for getting back so quickly' - DAVID FAIRCLOUGH

'There's still 45 minutes to go - for both sides, I would guess' - BRIAN MARWOOD

'If you were to name the top three goalkeepers in England, he’d be pleased with that.' - PAUL ELLIOTT

'If Plan A fails, they could always revert to Plan A.' - MARK LAWRENSON

'He was just about to pull the trigger on his left foot' - TERRY BUTCHER

'It's his first cap, so he's not got a lot of experience at this level.' - BRIAN MARWOOD

'You either win or you lose. There's no in between.' - TERRY VENABLES

'He's looking around at himself' - JIMMY GREAVES

'Oldham are leading 1-0, a well-deserved victory at this stage of the game' - TOMMY DOCHERTY

'George will be happy with a draw - I know how ambitious and positive he is.' - TERRY NEILL

'Roy Keane, his face punches the air...' - ALAN BRAZIL

'He wasn't really trying to score with that shot.' - DAVID PLEAT

'Scoring the first goal in soccer is very important, because your opponent is then faced with the task of having to score one to draw level and two to take the lead.' - GRAHAM LEGGATT

'At 23, he ought to be around until 2006, if he can keep his head.' - GLENN HODDLE

'Those are the sort of doors that get opened if you don't close them' - TERRY VENABLES

'And you don't score 118 goals in 120 games by missing from there.' - JON CHAMPION

'...and tonight we have the added ingredient of Kenny Dalglish not being here' - MARTIN TYLER

'And for those of you watching without television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2' - DAVID COLEMAN

'Chris Waddle is off the pitch at the moment - exactly the position he is at his most menacing.' - GERALD SINSTADT

'The Bulgarian team are here with a relatively 'old' squad. They impressed at USA 94, but, well, they're four years older now, most of them.' - CBS commentator

'Figo is as important to England as Beckham is.' - MARK LAWRENSON

'If they play together, you've got two of them.' - DION DUBLIN

Gordon Strachan....

Southampton manager Gordon Strachan on Wayne Rooney:
Its an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."
(possibly the best ever football quote!)

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the
Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to
bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret. >

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

[brandon]

It's annoying when commentators say the game is over and then the comeback happens, like you stated.

[brapbrap]

Is heaven when a blue nose gets it wrong to the scale that Andy Gray did.


Btw, Congrats on gettign Super Mod, Brandon.

Its that bloke Leyton Orient......

Spread rep yet? :D

[Jamie!]

Nice list, made me lol ;]

[simon!]

Mine is this one:

"Its true to say that David Beckham is not missed" (can't remember who said it actually) but it narked me off a bit :l

[Mentor]

Lol, some of them are pretty good :p

[GoldenBiscuit]

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....


Pure class. :D

[YellowParasol]

Hmm... not sure who the Commentators were but it was in the game between Everton and Newcaste a few weeks ago, they kept saying about how Peterborough lost 2-1 to Everton got on my nerves a bit ;p

[FlyingJesus]

Get the book "Colemanballs", it's full of those things, hilarious ^_^

[SHEEPY_luvs_u]

yeah i agree with andy gray, he does spout some utter crap.

[brapbrap]

All the old pros are, they either hate their old teams rivals or their old teams current players, because there doign well and they never.