Do you think online relationships can work? [Ends 17/01/2010]

[Nixt]

Do you think online relationships can work?
Ends 17/01/2010


As the internet becomes increasingly popular and people spend more and more time surfing the internet, particularly sites that offer large communities such as Habbo and Runescape, the relationships individuals share over the internet can become far more intense. With the change in web technology, individuals can almost be as close as they would be in real life - webcams, microphones and instant messaging programs an example of how communication technology has been revolutionised, allowing people to become closer than ever via the internet.

Some people take these relationships to the next level, going as far as what has become known as "edating". Edating has become increasingly common, with some of these relationships blossoming into long-term partnerships and on occasion marriage. There are even members of this forum who have dated for a period online, before taking it to the next step in real life.

The question is, do you think online relationships can work?

Before posting in this thread, please read the debates forum rules (http://habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=617161) and the thread that explains how this forum works (http://habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=617160)!



Thread closed by iAdam (Forum Super Moderator); Closed with permission.

[luce]

If you meet someone online and you find you really like talking to them and text and call them or something and this goes on for a while and you have seen what they look like etc then i say you should go for it BUT only if you know for a fact that you will be meeting in real life in the near future and when you have done this once you can do it frequently afterwards because otherwise there is no point because you can't sustain a relationship with someone who you never have physical contact with (and getting it out on cam isn't physical contact it's desperate).

There are different ways to e-date some people walk round habbo looking for a husband or wife and e-date that way and you will probably see each other once before removing them off you f.r but then say at habbox if you are both staff or just know each other on msn etc then you decided you like the person not the pixel image of them you can go to what i said above.

It is also so easy to fake who you are as a person and who you are as in looks over the internet that is why you have to trust and talk to them a lot. I know people who have really good online relationships and are together and meet all the time but I also know people who e-date loads of people one after another and will never meet and have never even been on cam or phone or aren't even sure that the photos they are seeing are even them.

You many and probably do disagree but i think this is the only way you can do it :)!

[FlyingJesus]

No mature relationship can work properly without some sort of physical contact. Sex is often not an issue for people but intimacy certainly is, and frankly having a long-distance relationship is only going to make you realise that void more, which will make a person miserable and likely to cheat just in order to actually feel something. I was with some girl from Wales (rank) for a bit and we met up a few times and did whatever but it just wasn't going to work so I had to tell her that it was done for us because I just wasn't getting anything good out of it other than getting told how wonderful I am which happens anyway.

I know there are cases where people in long-distance internet relationships do end up together etc., but unless it's a distance that's easy to get by and one that both are willing and able to travel I can't bring myself to have any faith in the idea, especially knowing first hand how it ends up.

[Hecktix]

I think the thing here is the big difference between an online relationship and a relationship within which the couple first met online.

The internet is such a vast and wonderful thing nowadays and it has a huge impact on the world. You can do pretty much anything on the internet and it is quite a good place to meet people, I've met some great people online who I value just as much as I value my real life friends.

When it comes down to dating purely online, this is pathetic. If you're going to have a relationship with someone you met online, have a relationship. In my opinion talking to eachother only on msn, only undergoing sexual "contact" on webcam, or even just talking on the phone is not enough. There needs to be physical meetings, and this, in my opinion changes it from being an online relationship.

Only thing is most relationships where you meet the partner online is that they involve distance, so they'll only work if you are committed to this and can afford it.

[Richie]

Personally no, I used to think they did but they don't. Well I suppose It really depends how you define "online relationship". The only way I think it would sort of work is if both people in the relationship lived close enough to each other and met up as soon as they could. Leaving it months just fails. Internet relationships get taken out of hand in my opinion, people try to turn the internet into reality. When the majority of the time that won't happen. Yes maybe I am a hypocrite because I used to "date online" but ive seen sense now ha.

@Invincible
+Rep I agree totally

[luce]

I think the thing here is the big difference between an online relationship and a relationship within which the couple first met online.

The internet is such a vast and wonderful thing nowadays and it has a huge impact on the world. You can do pretty much anything on the internet and it is quite a good place to meet people, I've met some great people online who I value just as much as I value my real life friends.

When it comes down to dating purely online, this is pathetic. If you're going to have a relationship with someone you met online, have a relationship. In my opinion talking to eachother only on msn, only undergoing sexual "contact" on webcam, or even just talking on the phone is not enough. There needs to be physical meetings, and this, in my opinion changes it from being an online relationship.

Only thing is most relationships where you meet the partner online is that they involve distance, so they'll only work if you are committed to this and can afford it.

In reaction to the first statement yeah because there are so many people who meet on places like Match.com so yeah i think the difference needs to be recognized before people start making judgement on what people can and can not do :)

[GommeInc]

The original post has ended this debate before it begun. They do work as mentioned, if anyone says or think they do not work clearly are dead from the neck up. The question should be:

"Are Internet Relationships as reliable as one-to-one, face-to-face relationships where you initially meet in reality?"

So answering my own question: Yes, though you have to rely on only text rather than any real emotional or body language. This progresses over time to maybe going on cam together, sharing numbers and talking to each other hearing each others voices. Once you know what they sound like, you get an understanding of what they are like as a real person, rather than an e-person. You begin to understand them and see them as a real person, thus you may feel the need to meet up. Of course, meeting up has risks usually depending on age and naivity - should you, and if so, where? A safe option is somewhere public so if this e-person does decide to go ninja on you, they have to do so infront of hundreds of people. If they're suggesting to meet up somewhere dark like a back alley, then something is wrong. Meet up somewhere where both of you are comfortable, if, for example, you're meeting in London, go somewhere you know or if you're inviting them, go somewhere you know that isn't private or in secret, maybe even have them invite a friend or you invite a friend - afterall, if you're progressing a natural bond, there is no harm or embarassment because you have a sense of "knowing" this person.

Heck, before you do the whole meeting up activity, you can see what they're like on Facebook. Afterall, if you're friends with someone (internet or reality), adding each other Facebook if both have it is a must, and you get to see how this friend reacts around their own friends and vice versa.

[iAdam]

Personally I see a difference between online relationships.

You have the relationships which are completely reliant on the internet for communication, picture sharing, and the only actual live communication is msn and skype and such.

I personally believe that this type of relationship is flawed and impossible. With no humanly contact you develop no bond, mentally or intimatly (If that's a word). Because of this regardless of things in common, looks or attraction that has developed, I believe that a relationship could not last without this contact that I mentioned.

Then there is the online relationships which begin with two people meeting online and evolve into 'real world' visits and physical contact.

On the other hand, I believe that this is a perfectly decent way to meet people, and an increasingly popular way to meet people, as well as being harmless fun in most cases. This type of relationship could easily be held with occasional or frequent contact aswell as keeping in touch when away and could easily lead to bigger and better things.

But Edating solely can't even constitute as a relationship in my opinion, No physical contact and just talking via voice or whatever isn't enough at all.

[Jay.]

Judging from replies, people believe in meeting on the internet but not using it for the only communication.

I am currently in a long distance relationship, we use technology solely to speak, unless meeting up. I live in England, she lives in Northern Ireland. I never believed in online relationships until now. I've been going out with her now for 7 months. (Exactly 7 months tomorrow) and I have actually fell in love over the internet. We plan on moving in together when she engages in non-optional education (comes to college) and I think it's definitely going to work.

Also, my friend Kirsty met someone online (on Runescape hah) and I didn't approve of it really. I used to tell her it's not going to work. He came to see her for a week, then after that moved in with her. It's been just over 2 years and they're great together.

Online relationships that want to stay online, are pointless yet not harmless. Online relationships where you're passionate about meeting and being together however, can work.

[Pyroka]

NO. FULLSTOP.

Livin proof 2k10

Edited by SuperNic. (Forum Moderator): Please only make posts that you are willing to expand on instead of just giving short answers. Debate forum rules ~ http://habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=617161

[Glitter]

NO. FULLSTOP.

Livin proof 2k10

Edited by SuperNic. (Forum Moderator): Please only make posts that you are willing to expand on instead of just giving short answers. Debate forum rules ~ http://habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=617161


I second this notion -gigggggggglle-
I think the whole e-love thing is silly, cause even with bare technology, if you're in need of a hug or whatever, you can't just get one.
and like, they never seem to work.

[Jay.]

I second this notion -gigggggggglle-
I think the whole e-love thing is silly, cause even with bare technology, if you're in need of a hug or whatever, you can't just get one.
and like, they never seem to work.

Relationships aren't all about physical contact. If you still have contact with someone, surely you can still love them, for their personality and support rather than physical comforting.

Relationships do tend to need physical contact, but if a relationship can last without it for a while, surely their relationship is a lot stronger than other 'normal' relationships?

[-Heart]

No, they can't.

Why, they just can't :).

Edited by SuperNic. (Forum Moderator): Please only make posts that you are willing to expand on instead of just giving short answers. Debate forum rules ~ http://habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=617161

[Sammeth.]

Relationships aren't all about physical contact. If you still have contact with someone, surely you can still love them, for their personality and support rather than physical comforting.

Relationships do tend to need physical contact, but if a relationship can last without it for a while, surely their relationship is a lot stronger than other 'normal' relationships?

I would probably hate a relationship without physical contact. Sure I can love anyone for their personality and what they bring to the table with their sense of humour and all that malarky, but I literally wouldn't be able to survive without human contact. Hugs, cuddles, kisses thats the type of intimacy we instictively crave. Its what I truly miss about being in a relationship, just knowing you can be close to someone physically as well as emotionally.

[Pyroka]

Relationships aren't all about physical contact. If you still have contact with someone, surely you can still love them, for their personality and support rather than physical comforting.

Relationships do tend to need physical contact, but if a relationship can last without it for a while, surely their relationship is a lot stronger than other 'normal' relationships?

Relationships without physical contact is like food without flavour. It's tasteless, it's same old, nothing exciting. And no the relationship would not be stronger lasting without physical contact, it would be DISFUNCTIONAL.

I even find the concept of love skeptical now, on the Internet of course. I think that isn't love, that's infatuation with another person just because they talk dirty to you and cam on msn. Kinky. *roll eyez*

I've been in 2 erelationships, 1 which was fully online (bar 2 meetings) & partianally online (occasional meetups). The difference was... There isn't one, it's all same old in the end, you miss the key starting point, the foundation to build upon a proper relationship. Otherwise, theoretically speaking, you walk into the house and the building will eventually collapse due to the foundations not being secure.

Lol I'm comparing relationships to buildings.

[Jay.]

It depends on how much you truly care for your partner. In the relationship that I'm in now, I agree it's hard to move the relationship on without contact, but it's better than nothing.

I don't know about you, but I don't just love my partner, I'm in love. And yes, that's on the internet. The internet allows people to converse from all different parts of the world, to communicate with loved ones from afar. Creating a relationship solely on the internet and to stay on the internet is pointless, but with occasional meet-ups, they can work.

When you were comparing a relationship to a building, you said the building will "finally collapse as the foundations aren't there." - I agree. Finally, it will. If the relationship isn't based online forever, and within 1/2 years you finally begin your life with the other one, these foundations can be re-built. Online relationships can work, if you put the effort in to make it work.

It's like a race. You need to keep up your speed all the way, you need to work hard, you don't like running forever, but you keep at it all the time. Finally, you get to the finish point, you've worked all that way and suceeded. You've now won the race and can relax. Relationships need effort put into them to work. When relationships are based totally in real life, effort isn't put into them as much as you have got all you need. Online, effort is essential to keep the relationship alive. You need to make a relationship work, it's hard but not impossible. They CAN work, with the right people.

[FlyingJesus]

I believe in your attempt to show that online relationships can work you've actually done the opposite - you yourself said that it'll only work if it "isn't based online forever". This suggests that online relationships in themselves cannot work, but only serve as a platform for a later real relationship. I by no means am attempting to belittle your opinion of e-relationships because if you're happy now then go for it, but they are not permanent situations and cannot healthily be called such, so by your own admission online relationships do not "work" in a real sense.

[ihatehash]

In all relationships I believe that there must be physical contact beginning from just holding hands or hugging and then once you get to know each other maybe kissing or even eventually sex. You can be anyone you want to be online. You can just act like an entirely different person. I'll admit I'm alot more confident online and sometimes I'll make things up to make myself seem 'cool'. The truth is you can't trust nobody online unless you live really close and have actually met this person. I will never have a online relationship as I hardly ever meet anyone online near where I live. The only way an Internet relationship can work is by meeting each other in real life before letting your relantionship florish otherwise when you do meet the person in real life you may be disapointed by their true personality.

[J0SH]

No, they can't.

Why, they just can't :).

Edited by SuperNic. (Forum Moderator): Please only make posts that you are willing to expand on instead of just giving short answers. Debate forum rules ~ http://habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=617161

You do realise people meet on Facebook & stuff then later on get married and stuff? :S

[Jay.]

FlyingJesus, in my later post I also stated that relationships that are purely based online wont work, but using online as a gateway to relationships will.

It's really a matter of age. If you're under 20 then online dating isn't bad, as you don't really need to be engaged into a proper relationship just yet. Therefore, if you do fall for someone when you're still young, and you decide to be with them for the rest of your life then you'll need to meet afterwards.

I'm just purely debating my opinion here, but if you plan on staying online for your whole life with someone, it's blates not going to work. As humans, we need love and affection, and I agree online you won't get that but meeting people online is just a gateway until you're older and then can spent your life with eachother.

[Charlie]

I don't see why not. It may not be your everyday typical relationship between two people who can see each other physically on a daily basis but as stated, advances in technology today are making it so there is plenty of alternatives to that which may not be as good but at least they are there.

I don't think it would be easy depending how serious and strong the feelings of the people involved are but if you are aware of the fact that it'll be hard and are willing to deal with that, then why not? You never know what the future holds also and you could end up meeting eventually and taking it further from there and it becoming something more then an online relationship.

[-Heart]

You do realise people meet on Facebook & stuff then later on get married and stuff? :S
Is that just what you'd like to believe, or do you actually know some examples? Besides, they'll probably end up getting a divorce anyway.

[Jay.]

Is that just what you'd like to believe, or do you actually know some examples? Besides, they'll probably end up getting a divorce anyway.

actually i know plenty of people who have. Besides its safer than out there. If you want a serious relationship, wont find it in a pub.

[-Heart]

actually i know plenty of people who have. Besides its safer than out there. If you want a serious relationship, wont find it in a pub.
Yeah, meeting someone online who could be a 40-year old paedophile is safer than meeting someone in say a bar?

[TheEclipse]

Only if they meet up. Meeting online= fine. Staying in contact online if you can't meet often= fine. Only dating online is weird to me, especially if it's for a really long time before you can meet. I know so many internet couples who it turned out didn't get along in real life.

My boyfriend and I met online, and then met in real life a month and a half or so later, and then hung out weekly or more for a few months before becoming a couple. It worked well for us. I've also made many friendships that way.

[GommeInc]

I believe in your attempt to show that online relationships can work you've actually done the opposite - you yourself said that it'll only work if it "isn't based online forever". This suggests that online relationships in themselves cannot work, but only serve as a platform for a later real relationship. I by no means am attempting to belittle your opinion of e-relationships because if you're happy now then go for it, but they are not permanent situations and cannot healthily be called such, so by your own admission online relationships do not "work" in a real sense.
The debate seems to not be about "just e-relationships", but online relationships as an initial form of relationship which may evolve into a real life relationship later on, so his opinion isn't invalid in terms of the original question put forth with the opening statement - which is why this debate is somewhat flawed from the start - online relationships do work, and I quote from the opening debate statement "with some of these relationships blossoming into long-term partnerships and on occasion marriage." Yes, e-relationships that do not fruit into anything do not work, but e-relationships that evolve do work. Afterall, is an e-relationship that evolves into a standard relationship, companionship or marriage unsuccessful? No, they do work as well as relationships where you initially meet in person ;) It's a no-brainer really :P


Yeah, meeting someone online who could be a 40-year old paedophile is safer than meeting someone in say a bar?
If you're stupid to meet them in dark alleys, or not take a good long look at their Facebook page to see how many friends they have, how they talk to other people and so on, then you probably deserve the heartache coming your way :rolleyes: You're looking at them in black and white, and perceiving online relationships as a paedophile source, rather than alot of normal people sharing interests and maybe meeting up, which is strangely quite common :S

[FlyingJesus]

FlyingJesus, in my later post I also stated that relationships that are purely based online wont work, but using online as a gateway to relationships will.

It's really a matter of age. If you're under 20 then online dating isn't bad, as you don't really need to be engaged into a proper relationship just yet. Therefore, if you do fall for someone when you're still young, and you decide to be with them for the rest of your life then you'll need to meet afterwards.

I'm just purely debating my opinion here, but if you plan on staying online for your whole life with someone, it's blates not going to work. As humans, we need love and affection, and I agree online you won't get that but meeting people online is just a gateway until you're older and then can spent your life with eachother.

I'm 100% totally in agreement with what you're saying, just not the conclusion :P To me, it logically follows that saying an "online-only" relationship won't work is the same as saying online relationships don't work, as once you've progressed to reality (even if it's the same person you've been having an online relationship with) it's no longer an internet girl/boyfriend that you have.

[Jay.]

You clearly take care meeting people online, in a pub your drunk so you're vunerable!

Edit: if they dont blossom then a family cannot be formed thus helping society. People looking for a solid, strong relationship mostly have a strong value of families in mind.

[-Heart]

If you're stupid to meet them in dark alleys, or not take a good long look at their Facebook page to see how many friends they have, how they talk to other people and so on, then you probably deserve the heartache coming your way :rolleyes: You're looking at them in black and white, and perceiving online relationships as a paedophile source, rather than alot of normal people sharing interests and maybe meeting up, which is strangely quite common :S
When meeting someone online and deciding to meet up, there's always a strong possibility that it would turn into a long distance relationship, and if we're talking about teenagers here then that doesn't often work out, as it isn't logical.

[GommeInc]

Like you said, there's a "strong possibility", not a certainty :) Quite alot of meet ups are done locally, both as friends and relationships. Teenage ones may progress when you approach university, you might even meet someone you talked to online at a university you are going to - afterall, if you're "friends" or interested with this person, you're sure to mention where you're heading off to for your university placements and if they're thinking about university, they may mention what they're up to as well. It's not black and white - you'll either fail or die, or not get anywhere, there are loads of different instances when discussing online relationships :) Logn distant ones depend upon commitment, though a very risky option.

[Jay.]

Exactly, it depends on how much you care about the other person really.

[Black_Apalachi]

I've always laughed at the idea of e-dating and I often try to understand it by asking people about it, who have done it before. To answer the question though, I wouldn't write it off completely and claim it never works. We have seen in this thread that some people have experienced successful online relationships so it can work.

Personally I'd never even consider it though. The first page of the thread alone summed up my views really. Even though I could probably go so far with it, after a while I think the lack of physical contact would get frustrating so I don't think it would last as a long term thing.

If people can and have made it work though, then fair play to them. Let them carry on and I wish them endless happiness :D.

[Mickword]

There are hundreds of online dating sites today all over the world, and it is possible to find any type of partner you are looking for using the internet. The million dollar question is; can online relationships work? or will they end up in a dead-end or a broken heart? In the United States alone, more and more people are getting internet access at home, and owning their own home computers, while others have laptops that can access the internet from anywhere. Just like it is possible to shop online safely for almost any products you need, the same goes for finding a friend, true love, or even a gay partner. Legitimate online dating sites are a great way to size someone up first and see whether they are compatible with you. This is already one positive answer to; can online relationships work? You have a better chance of building a relationship with someone your own age group, with similar interests, and close enough to where you live to get to know each other better and you can decide when you are ready to take the next step.

Where Online Relationships fail.

Although there have been a number of fail safes implemented in legitimate online dating sites, unfortunately there are still people that manage to access these sites and fool around with peoples feelings. Lonely people can quickly be drawn into these traps and getting hurt. When this happens the first time their trust in online dating websites goes right out the window because as they say; 'once bitten; twice shy'! Having said that, online dating has become one of the most popular ways for people to meet someone, and you can have much more confidence doing so than in person. The answer to can online relationships work, is a double sided one, being both yes and no!

Online Relationships can be successful.

The answer to can online relationships work is more positive than negative when weighing up the pros and cons. People that use online dating websites to find a new partner or friend, should be sensible to know when they are being strung along and when something does not feel right to them. If you are suspicious, then report the person you are not happy about on the dating website. Normally there is a support webmaster that monitors suspicious activity for this purpose. Be sure to protect yourself at all times, and before going overboard and sharing intimate details about yourself to anyone; or setting up a meet to be absolutely sure it is what you want. Do not end up with a broken heart because you are desperately seeking an end to your loneliness.

In my personal opinion, Internet Dating or E-Dating, can be fun for a time. But, I really don't really know about it, but to sum the whole thing up. It can work, but if you are willing to put in the effort.

[Richie]

I think the only ones that work are the ones on habbo *touches boobie*

[Jay.]

There are hundreds of online dating sites today all over the world, and it is possible to find any type of partner you are looking for using the internet. The million dollar question is; can online relationships work? or will they end up in a dead-end or a broken heart? In the United States alone, more and more people are getting internet access at home, and owning their own home computers, while others have laptops that can access the internet from anywhere. Just like it is possible to shop online safely for almost any products you need, the same goes for finding a friend, true love, or even a gay partner. Legitimate online dating sites are a great way to size someone up first and see whether they are compatible with you. This is already one positive answer to; can online relationships work? You have a better chance of building a relationship with someone your own age group, with similar interests, and close enough to where you live to get to know each other better and you can decide when you are ready to take the next step.

Where Online Relationships fail.

Although there have been a number of fail safes implemented in legitimate online dating sites, unfortunately there are still people that manage to access these sites and fool around with peoples feelings. Lonely people can quickly be drawn into these traps and getting hurt. When this happens the first time their trust in online dating websites goes right out the window because as they say; 'once bitten; twice shy'! Having said that, online dating has become one of the most popular ways for people to meet someone, and you can have much more confidence doing so than in person. The answer to can online relationships work, is a double sided one, being both yes and no!

Online Relationships can be successful.

The answer to can online relationships work is more positive than negative when weighing up the pros and cons. People that use online dating websites to find a new partner or friend, should be sensible to know when they are being strung along and when something does not feel right to them. If you are suspicious, then report the person you are not happy about on the dating website. Normally there is a support webmaster that monitors suspicious activity for this purpose. Be sure to protect yourself at all times, and before going overboard and sharing intimate details about yourself to anyone; or setting up a meet to be absolutely sure it is what you want. Do not end up with a broken heart because you are desperately seeking an end to your loneliness.

In my personal opinion, Internet Dating or E-Dating, can be fun for a time. But, I really don't really know about it, but to sum the whole thing up. It can work, but if you are willing to put in the effort.

The thing bold, why refer to a gay relationship as different to true love or normal relationship? But totally on-topic, I don't get your main point here. You're supposed to be debating whether it works or not, you're just summing up the thread?

[Calvin]

I think the only ones that work are the ones on habbo *touches boobie*
I totally agree +REP!!!


Edited by invincible (Forum Super Moderator); Please don't post pointlessly

[Sharon]

Depends. If you find you both really work it could, as long as there was contact as in MSN, Texting, Facebook. If it developed more it could resolve to Real Life.
I'm sort of in a relationship where this guy goes to my school, but no one knows and we mainly develop on Habbo. Its going okay but I wish people knew.

[alexxxxx]

no. but you can have an e-lationship aha.

not to say that people in a relationship can't talk over the internet but actually meeting people is really required for a relationship with any sort of meaning.

[Jay.]

So does anyone here actually disagree about the whole meeting online then meeting irl? Or is that the debate basically finished.

[Hiro]

Solely online? No.
With physical interaction? There's a possibility.

It's not possible to have a relationship that doesn't have any physical interaction. People who say they don't care about the physical interaction have probably thought about how nice it would be to be at the other's side, holding them, etc. Yeah, you can get to know them, develop feelings through how well you get on, the sense of humour, etc. But it takes more than that to construct and hold the relationship.
Which, when taken into reality, like any other relationship, it can have it's problems, arguements, distance can play a huge part (but, then that would depend on how the two want to handle it).

I don't mind being in a long distance relationships, yeah, I can miss the interaction with the other person, but over time I have naturally learnt to hold it back, store the interaction I deprive on and keep it there until we meet up again. I would never (nor have I) cheat on the other for the lust of interaction, but there are some who would, which in itself can cause numerous problems for long distance relationships.

[Ardemax]

I've always thought online relationships aren't "proper" in the terms you don't see your partner nor do you share daily activities with them.

However this has been proven wrong on a few occasions by the couple who got married who met on Habbo.

So if they're really serious about it, I'm sure it's fine.