magpie-4-life
18-09-2004, 08:29 PM
These are fantastic, especially the ones at the end.
The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2
> >
> > Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
> > Contestant: Jool carriageway.
> >
> > Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
> > Contestant: Bombay.
> >
> > Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
> > Contestant: Crocodiles.
> >
> > Robinson: Wh...?
> > Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
> >
> > Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels - travelling
> > entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
> > Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
> >
> > Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
written
>by
> > Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
> > Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
> >
> >
> > National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
> >
> > Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by
the
> > initials G.B.S.?
> > Contestant: William Shakespeare.
> >
> >
> > Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
> >
> > Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
> > Caller: Japan.
> > Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't
hear
> > that,
> > I can let you try again.
> > Caller: Er... Mexico?
> >
> >
> > Family Fortunes, ITV
> >
> > Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.
> > Contestant: Bananas.
> >
> >
> > The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
> >
> > Presenter: Who killed **** Robin?
> > Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.
> >
> >
> > Lincs FM phone-in
> >
> > Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the
world?
> > Contestant: Barcelona.
> > Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
> > Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in
>Spain.
> >
> >
> > Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
> >
> > Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
> > Contestant: India.
> >
> > Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical
instrument?
> > Contestant: The baton.
> >
> > Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
> > Contestant: Expresso.
> >
> > Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
> > Contestant: Sydney.
> >
> > Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song
Paddy
> > McGinty's??
> > Contestant: I don't know.
> > Wright: It begins with a "G".
> > Contestant: Cow.
> >
> >
> > Midday Money, ITV
> >
> > Judy Finnegan: The American TV show "The Sopranos" is about
opera-true
>or
> > false?
> > Contestant: Er-true.
> > Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an
American TV
> > show, so I'll give you that.
> >
> >
> > BBC Radio Newcastle
> >
> > Paul Wappat: How long did the Six day War between Egypt and Israel
>last?
> > Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
> >
> >
> > Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
> >
> > Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
> > Contestant: Four.
> >
> >
> >
> > BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
> >
> > Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
> > Contestant: Er...
> > Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
> > Contestant: Blimey?
> > Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
> > Contestant: (Silence)
> > Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
> > Contestant: Walked?
> >
> >
> > Daryl's Drive-time, Virgin Radio
> >
> > Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
> > Contestant: Holland?
> > Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
> > Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
> > Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
> > Contestant: No.
> >
> >
> > Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute
Quiz
>on
> > 2FM:
> >
> > 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
> > 2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
> > 3) Name the Capital of France? F
> > 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
> > 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
> > 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
> > 7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil
> > 8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
> > 9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
> > 10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
> > 11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
> > 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
> > 13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
> > 14) A famous Royal? Mail
> > 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle
with
> > wings
> > 16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
> > 17) Something a cat does? Goes to the Toilet
> > 18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
> > 19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
> > 20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
> > 21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
> > 22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
> > 23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
> > 24) Something you put on walls? A roof
> > 25) Something Slippery? A conman
> > 26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
> > 27) A Jacket Potato topping? Jam
> > 28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
:eusa_clap
The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2
> >
> > Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
> > Contestant: Jool carriageway.
> >
> > Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
> > Contestant: Bombay.
> >
> > Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
> > Contestant: Crocodiles.
> >
> > Robinson: Wh...?
> > Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
> >
> > Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels - travelling
> > entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
> > Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
> >
> > Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
written
>by
> > Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
> > Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
> >
> >
> > National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
> >
> > Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by
the
> > initials G.B.S.?
> > Contestant: William Shakespeare.
> >
> >
> > Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
> >
> > Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
> > Caller: Japan.
> > Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't
hear
> > that,
> > I can let you try again.
> > Caller: Er... Mexico?
> >
> >
> > Family Fortunes, ITV
> >
> > Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.
> > Contestant: Bananas.
> >
> >
> > The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
> >
> > Presenter: Who killed **** Robin?
> > Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.
> >
> >
> > Lincs FM phone-in
> >
> > Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the
world?
> > Contestant: Barcelona.
> > Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
> > Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in
>Spain.
> >
> >
> > Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
> >
> > Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
> > Contestant: India.
> >
> > Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical
instrument?
> > Contestant: The baton.
> >
> > Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
> > Contestant: Expresso.
> >
> > Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
> > Contestant: Sydney.
> >
> > Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song
Paddy
> > McGinty's??
> > Contestant: I don't know.
> > Wright: It begins with a "G".
> > Contestant: Cow.
> >
> >
> > Midday Money, ITV
> >
> > Judy Finnegan: The American TV show "The Sopranos" is about
opera-true
>or
> > false?
> > Contestant: Er-true.
> > Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an
American TV
> > show, so I'll give you that.
> >
> >
> > BBC Radio Newcastle
> >
> > Paul Wappat: How long did the Six day War between Egypt and Israel
>last?
> > Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
> >
> >
> > Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
> >
> > Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
> > Contestant: Four.
> >
> >
> >
> > BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
> >
> > Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
> > Contestant: Er...
> > Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
> > Contestant: Blimey?
> > Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
> > Contestant: (Silence)
> > Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
> > Contestant: Walked?
> >
> >
> > Daryl's Drive-time, Virgin Radio
> >
> > Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
> > Contestant: Holland?
> > Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
> > Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
> > Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
> > Contestant: No.
> >
> >
> > Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute
Quiz
>on
> > 2FM:
> >
> > 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
> > 2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
> > 3) Name the Capital of France? F
> > 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
> > 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
> > 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
> > 7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil
> > 8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
> > 9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
> > 10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
> > 11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
> > 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
> > 13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
> > 14) A famous Royal? Mail
> > 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle
with
> > wings
> > 16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
> > 17) Something a cat does? Goes to the Toilet
> > 18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
> > 19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
> > 20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
> > 21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
> > 22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
> > 23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
> > 24) Something you put on walls? A roof
> > 25) Something Slippery? A conman
> > 26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
> > 27) A Jacket Potato topping? Jam
> > 28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
:eusa_clap