Your Words - Ends 28th July [Archive]

Bloop

27-07-2014, 12:19 PM

T in the park was a monthly festival now into its fourth edition. Held on the last tuesday of every month by the Competitions Department, it aims to promote and save the English Language, worship the letter T in all its royalTand exclusiviT, and where everyone gathered together to drink tea. The event was a shabby and low-budget one - just a couple of chairs, a tent, a plastic table making do for a counter, a large thermos container of tea, and a banner, the only decoration for the entire event, draped loosely over two erected wooden poles hammered into the ground. T is fantasTc, screams the loud banner with brightly coloured splatters of paint, Twitter, Tumblr, T-rex, you name it, it's all about T!

Every month, there is always a big hoo-hah in Competitions over the ones picked to be in-charge of T in the park. Those chosen beforehand would weasel out of the whole affair and those who were 'likely next candidates' would try to push it to someone else. This issue would usually end up with a draw to pick the unlucky people to head the festival due to massive loathe of it by the whole Department. Three unfortunate souls would be chosen as of the result from the draw, and made to stand under the sweltering heat in Evergreen Park for five whole hours mostly doing nothing due to the pathetically low levels of visitor traffic. But of couse, the Department Head was reluctant to put an end to the festival, thinking it would be the Next Big Thing, and despite protests and even a death threat via mail, "The festival will go on," he had said.

And so, the three people chosen went on with the organisation of the event, where they stood now under the shade of the banner, having small talk and desperately fanning themselves with brochures of T in the park. (which not a single one had been successfully given out to passing patrons of the park)

"This is not global warming but global boiling! Tell me why am I chosen again?" Shonly huffed. Shonly was termed the Star of Competitions, and rumours has it she was going to be the next Department Manager, General Manager, Ruler of the World etcetra.

"Bimbo," Bolt mumbled as he took out a patterned handkerchief and wiped off his perspiration.

"Says the one using a feminine tea towel. Can't stand the heat too, huh?" Shonly replied, raising her eyebrow.

"This is a handkerchief, Shonly, and it's sewed by..." Bolt lowered his voice to a mumble, "myself."

Shonly cackled and poured herself more tea into a plastic cup.

"On anothe note, who designed this hideous banner?" Derrener tried to change the subject.

"The banner is not ugly," Shonly moans exasperatedly, "Drew from Graphics designed it himself!"

"Still TREMENDOUSLY grotesque," Derrener retorted sarcastically, "Oop, another T word. Add it in the banner, would ya?"

"Plus," Bolt cut in to add his two cents' worth, "It scares people away. Looks like some Ronald McDonald's figurine dressed in assorted rainbows."

"It TERRIFIES me," Derrener deadpanned.

"I beg to differ, Bolt, we have an improvment and a record-high of 18 visitors this month!" Shonly gesticulated excitedly. "In addition, we didn't get egged this time round, PHEW."

"Eggs are really hard to scape off," Bolt mumbled an agreement.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Bolt caught sight of a group of about ten people or so, terribly trying to conceal themselves behind a tree. His eyes widen instantaneously as he saw a few of them taking aim at them, preparing to throw an object. And they were just talking about not being egged!

At the top of his voice, Bolt shouted, "Down!" and ducked swift enough to dodge the red-coloured water balloon whizzing towards him. "That was close," Bolt heaved a sigh of relief. Still squatting, Bolt shuffled behind the counter for protection from further attacks.

Unlike Bolt, which the water balloon aimed at him missing and zipping over his head, Shonly was not so fortunate, and was unable to react fast enough. Before she knew it, another one was speeding right at her, landing spot-on and straight on her face, drenching her as it burst. Shonly squealed as she tried to clean her face of the liquid that trickled down her face like a mini river stream. Not wanting to be ambushed again, she stumbled towards the counter and hid beside Bolt.

Derrener was not too lucky himself either - in the midst of the commotion, he was so startled he tripped over a branch on the ground and fell face-first on his nose. Nothing broke his fall but his nose.

A few more water balloons followed, hitting and bursting all over the festival's counter, foldable chairs, and tents.

"Harharharhar!" Unpleasant laughter boomed after it seemed their attackers were out of ammo. None of the Competitions trio dared to look up for they get targetted again. "TACKLED in the park!" The voice continued, resulting in the ensue of more laughter. After what seemed like forever, there was sounds of the starting of motorbikes' engines, amd the bunch of ruffians drove off.

After making sure that the Water Balloon Fiasco Culprits left and recovering from her shock, Shonly stood and shook her fist angrily, shrieking, " I'll get all of you, do you hear me!? Don't you know who am I!? I'm Kate Middleton in disguise, attached to Prince William! I'll get all of you and have you made into footstools to prop my feet up when I'm on the throne watching Spongebob Squarepants!"

"Wow your televison choices are just..." Bolt stood up from his squatting position and stopped mid-speech after Shonly gave him a Death Stare. "Pippa's hotter though," Bolt said cheekily, then rushed over to help Derrener up, who was still lying face-down on the ground. His nose was bleeding, possibly broken, from the impact. Bolt pulled Derrener into a sitting position and the latter tried to stop the gushing blood with one hand, reached for his bagpack with his other and rummaged through for tissues. Derrener was visibly annoyed, grunting and muttering to himself expletives.

"What doesn't kills you makes you stronger, right?" Shonly attempted cheerfully.

"NO. What doesn't kills you makes you smaller, super mario-esque," Derrener growled back.

Shonly rolled her eyes. "Lame. Stop playing and spending so much time with your Nintendo Gameboy on Super Mario catridges. One, Gameboys are so outdated and two, you're wasting your life away."

"Um, guys?" Bolt said nervously, sniffing at the tent which was misfortunately hit by one of the balloons. "Sorry to cut in but, I don't think that's water inside the water balloons... it's..."

"EWW WHAT THE HECK!?" Shonly exclaimed, "That got all over my face? Gross!" Shonly grabbed a bottle of water and poured a little out on her hand, trying to clean her face.

Derrener smirked mischieviously, "Now I'm thankful i fell instead of getting hit by the balloons." Derrener started singing, "Campaign for P in the park to promote and save the English Language, worship the letter P in all its royalty and exclusivity, and where everyone gathers and drink p... oh wait. Only Shonly gets close to that with all of it over her face like a facial."

Derrener laughs like a maniac and took off with Shonly chasing him, under the red-lit sky as the sun sets and T in the park comes to a close.

- - - Updated - - -

not a fantastic piece but i tried my best :X couldnt seem to make some parts link :( special thanks to Drew; Shonly; Bolt660; and Derrener; cuz i used yr names :P

btw is pee in the water balloons lol