Stay-at-home parents vs jobs

[lawrawrrr]

This came up in conversation with my family today and I wanted to see what you thought?

Is being a fulll time, stay-at-home mum/dad as hard a job as going to work 9-5?

Personally I feel like being a stay at home parent is easier because, well, you get to stay at home? I know you obviously have to do housework and look after kids (especially when they're younger and not at school) - and also its a 7-day-a-week job.

But going to work 9-5 plus the commute I think is really stressful as well, and if you aren't married to a stay-at-home person you STILL have to do all the chores and cooking yourself?

So my conclusion is: yes it's easier to be stay at home than work AND do everything by yourself, and it's less stressful being stay at home than working.

But apparently that's offensive to my family so go figure

[Cerys]

Ye I'd say it's easier cos if you have a full time job, say 9-5, you're then coming home to the kids and looking after them. So basically doing exactly the same as a full time parent but also having to work lol. Cos with a stay at home parent they typically get a break during 8-3 cos of school hours anyway ! It gets me annoyed those people who are like omg I'm a full time mummy so stressful x it's like no shush

[-:Undertaker:-]

It depends. A lot of middle class women like to convince themselves that they're just as hard put out as say working class mothers who have to stay at home despite the fact they're paying out for nannies to look after the children, cleaners and gardeners. Yes, poor old Imogen on £110,000 a year living in Kensington and Chelsea really has a hard time bringing up little Henry with an entire team surrounding her.

I believe in the old fashioned idea, and how I was brought up, of a married family with preferably one parent (ideally the mother) staying at home with the father working and providing: especially with more than one child. I have this bizzare and evil conservative concept in my head that if you have children you should actually commit to and raise them yourself rather than paying for somebody else to do it.

[dbgtz]

I don't think there's a straight forward answer to this. Some people have easier jobs than others and some people have fewer kids than others. Not everybody has a particularly long commute to work either. I would also say a parent who stays home doesn't have that inherent social activity most people will have with their jobs, and will have to seek it out or I believe they would probably suffer.

I think in general terms I would say staying at home is easier than going to work, but it does depend on those other factors.

[Zak]

Work is much harder.

Modern appliances make housework a doddle, when your children start school that's a 9-3 break. Lol.

Modern society I would expect both men and women to work but ideally the woman to work part time.. Maybe 25 hours a week to have that little extra for childcare/odd jobs. Obviously I would expect the man to help with childcare and work - after work as well lol

[xxMATTGxx]

There isn't a straight answer for this. Some stay at home parents will have a harder time than other stay at home parents. Same with people who go to jobs - It can piss easy or hard.

For example, if your kids have learning difficulties, autism or a disability of some sort then they will most likely have a harder time than me or anyone going to work each day.

It really does depend on their circumstances.

[buttons]

it's probably one of those things you can just judge easily without having experienced it and it's not really fair to dismiss those who HAVE

i think it entirely depends on your job, a 9-5 job then coming home to a kid is probably less stressful than having a job where your hours are all over the place because it'd be so much harder to juggle childcare. but it also depends on the type of person you are and the situation you're in. so say you want to stay at home but you can't afford to, it'll be hard for you to work. or if you want to work but have to stay at home, you could go crazy with the lack of challenge/stimulation you get at work. think it's good to have a balance: have a job that's opposite to the hours of your partner eg one does night shift or go on relief where you can pick up shifts as and when suits you.

[Gina]

There isn't a straight answer for this. Some stay at home parents will have a harder time than other stay at home parents. Same with people who go to jobs - It can piss easy or hard.

For example, if your kids have learning difficulties, autism or a disability of some sort then they will most likely have a harder time than me or anyone going to work each day.

It really does depend on their circumstances.

completely agree with matt here 10/10

[Empired]

I don't know but I do wonder if staying at home might be tougher sometimes. I think both "jobs" so to speak come with their pros and cons but the problem with staying at home I'd assume is that it never stops. Everyone saying you get a break between 9 to 3 seems to be forgetting about all those families who have three under 3 (which is a common occurrence).

I would assume that would be pretty tough having three (or four sometimes) under school age. Someone wakes up crying every 40 minutes? That's your job to sort them out because your partner has to get up for work in the morning. But you still get up at 5 because they're all awake and obviously you can't sleep during the day with 3 young kids running round.

Also as has been mentioned above that would make a social life extremely tough and I'd go mad from lack of social stimulation. Must be damn lonely to be surrounded by just kids.

So idk I'm not particularly arguing that staying at home is tougher than going out to work but this thread just seems to be full of one argument so far so thought I'd put something else out there xx

[wixard]

Lol have some of you people answering ever been around a young child? It is really hard and quite tiring

i know I would prefer to stay at home with my children over work, and I believe work would be draining aswell as the idea of missing a full day with my kids but it's no walk in the park to be a stay at home mum

anyway me and my bf already decided if we have kids he'll be the one staying at home!!

[scottish]

Lol have some of you people answering ever been around a young child? It is really hard and quite tiring

i know I would prefer to stay at home with my children over work, and I believe work would be draining aswell as the idea of missing a full day with my kids but it's no walk in the park to be a stay at home mum

anyway me and my bf already decided if we have kids he'll be the one staying at home!!

yeah but you'd need childcare too so he can focus on his games.

[buttons]

yeah but you'd need childcare too so he can focus on his games.
id need childcare for our kids and you since you need babied all the time haha x

[Red]

Depends on the job. Don't find my job v stressful at all, I enjoy it and have energy when I get home to do things. I imagine being a stay at home mum would be a lot more work and you get adult conversation at least going to work too.

[Catchy]

I think both have it's own challenges and stresses really, personally I'd probably PREFER going out to work as a break. Can you imagine being with children day in day out without a break? Not for me thank you very much, think I'd go insane.

[RuthOnToast]

You can't just say ones harder than the other because it all depends on the circumstances. My mum has been a stay at home mum for all 3 of us and also done abit of stay at home granny. She was 19 when she had my sister and at the time my dad had a job until her got made redundant. But when i came 16 years later i didnt make it easy for my mum to get a job. She didnt get a break 8-3 no it was 24/7 job. Most days school would either send me home for a few days or sometimes just for a few hours. So how is she meant to have a job when i was often excluded? Does she get a break at night? no i wouldn't sleep in my own room till i was 10 and tbh i just wouldn't sleep.

Enough of that my point is just because they dont go out to work doesnt mean they have a easy time because you don't know what they have to deal with. And tbh yh some stay at home mums will have it easy and generally just lazy.

It also depends on what job you have and how much you enjoy it. You might have a really good job you love doing that maybe only be down the road. Or you could have a really shit stressful job.