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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinyFroggy View Post
    There's an obvious wrong and right from that statement. And yes, we all know that. I've spent an enormous time of my life thinking and dwelling upon this fact.

    Until one day I noticed, that the bigger question is, why am I putting myself in a position that I know will hurt me.

    Anyway, I never did stop until now. I wish can place myself somewhere else and care about no one else. I still wish that. Fml.

    I guess, I need to start learning to love myself more. The problem is, I can't see how
    Man. I think that, regardless of all the "bad stuff" that might happen to us... or even if NO THING happens at all, we stay in a sort of stagnation where we are clearly aware of our own willingness of throwing ourselves into any kind of impossible love, specially if we are currently talking about reciprocity, well, if we see that we are not even receiving 10% of what we are giving... don't feel sad about it... too much... ok? Personally speaking, I try to bear with it a lot, basically everyday, to be honest.

    We constantly mistake the "soft" feel with the non-human "ability" and ease of discarding affective ties because the "not-caring" is wrongly labeled as synonym of the ultimate independence, freedom, even intelligence, even though one thing has NOTHING to do with other, lol. In the game of this sicky society, the winner of the love game is the one who love less, or at least know how to pretend their blandness very well. But why, sometimes, we must to feel bad for loving or for being dedicated for those we care about?

    Like, even if it doesn't work out the way we expect. I personally think that the fact that we do not abandon our emotions and the desire of caring even with all the potential negative people surrounding us and influencing us to feel absolutely nothing... THIS is something we can really pride ourselves! Don't be sad, Tiny! Earth has 7.000.000.000 people. Technically, even way more than that.






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  2. #22
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    Solitude is a difficult thing to deal with. I've gone through periods where I've felt crushingly alone even in the company of others. The best thing, I think, is to just live for yourself. Try not to rely on others — find things that you can do alone that satisfy you. Being by yourself isn't such a bad thing, but the loneliness will consume you if you let it. I've always enjoyed my own company, but up until the age of about twenty-five I was always surrounded by other people; my friends, my family, my partner, etc. Only when I found myself suddenly alone did I realise how bleak it was, but that was because I was depressed as ****. The most important thing is to feel fulfilled. Find things that fulfill you that don't rely on others. Being a part of some sort of community helps, too. The great thing about the internet is that there's always people on it. Habbox is a bit dead these days, but there are a lot of places where you can connect with others.
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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neversoft View Post
    I've felt crushingly alone even in the company of others.
    And, perhaps, that was the reason I've found myself so struggled over the last months. I managed to find clues behind the things I have been doing and accessing lately, as a vague way of interpreting why I was feeling so foggy and empty because of people, besides the fact I was a former "independent" human until half a year ago and, even though it might not be the ONLY reason, I have been finding patterns on the friendships I was building and the people I was talking to in a regular basis that might be messed with my sanity a little bit, ha...

    ...most of them are beyond awesome, creative and interesting people to hang out and play something but, at least one of them would constantly have ambiguous behaviors that would cut my heart in two. Even without telling, it progressively became more and more obvious that today, we could have the most interesting and fun conversation and we'd say we love each other but, in the middle line, there was an implicit warning, from them to me: "We are having so much fun and talking about so many cool stuffs but, when the sun rise, I will magically forget about everything we have done and I'm gonna treat you as though you are an acquaintance attempting to force an imaginary bond between you and me. And you're gonna convince me to want to enjoy your company, from the scratch.".

    It's more than obvious that everyone has the right of not talking with those they don't want to at the moment and everyone has a different standard on how they communicate but the case above, because it is an Fine/Not Fine case, it just got extremely exhausting with time and, as a consequence, made me to, temporarily, question about my own qualities, coolness and how much I "value" without their company because being with them did hurt, but being alone seemed to hurt 2x more

    It's changing, though. It only took some days to notice the good things I was losing whilst avoiding staying on my own company, to the point I stop for a while and I think something like "whoah, I'm glad they aren't coming tonight" or similar, hah. It is a DAILY construction, actually. Began with the 100% clearing of some Sonic games and finished with the unhealthy amount of art production, music and movies. I've learnt that some of the GOOD things I use to WORSHIP about the terrible people I met were, mostly, a vague and unrealistic projection and, funnily, a mirrored vision of my own qualities, even though it sounds a bit cliché when spoken. And, when I got to know about it at once, it made it easier to generate love and dopamine in those moments no one is around but me and a good cup of wine, you know? Thank you for your precious tips.

    If you managed to read this post until this point, I'm thinking about getting involved with reddit. Is it like a network of 39914921492194 gathered discussion forums ? I've been quite fond of Discord but the whole "instant messaging" aesthetic of it (and its messages) helps very little to build a healthy discussion AND who knows friendships.
    Last edited by LUCPIX; 15-07-2018 at 05:05 AM.







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