My excuse for a life.

[Revis]

People may of noticed i've been kinder stressed/****ish recently, well I want to give people a glimpse into the last few months of my life... Might be alot to read.

I get really stressed/worked up over very simple things. I would sit in my room think about it over and over again. If people mentioned those things I would become really ****ed off and have a go at the person over it.

For the best part of my life, i've been in the top English set. But this year I got put in set 2, with none of my mates and a room full of the biggest chavs our school has to offer. So here's where I start to stress over it. A few day's later I discover I got a level 7 on my year 9 SATs, and that most people in the top set had got level 6's or 5's. That seriously ****ed me off.

A few days later I was talking to this girl I really liked, she was in top English and she said something about it, that really ****ed me off, but I didn't want to upset her at all, so I hacked at my wrist with my keys, it calmed me down...

Everytime I got ****ed off with something, I would go and find my keys, or one of my keyrings, a very sharp flat head *****driver.

But now I was getting worse. I was feeling sick before school. I wouldn't eat breakfast, or lunch. I only tended to eat tea, and my parents never found out. The money I didn't spend on my lunch I'd use to go and get ciggies. I used to live on a bottle of lucozade a day, and tea.

This made me feel like ****, so I was cutting myself more, and my mates we're getting really worried. What made it worse was these 2 girls liked me, and I liked them both, I really didn't want to upset either one of them, so this was on my mind too.

Before school I was actually being sick. So I wouldn't eat anything during the day, untill like 6pm. Eventually my parents found out about my problem eating, and unsuccessfully tried to help. Their failure just made me feel worse, and because my mates didn't understand my problems, they couldn't help either.

Then one night I got really ****ed off, I completely flipped and totally mutilated my wrist, cut it like 24 times in less than a minute. The pain was huge so I went and got paracetamol, that didn't work so I took some neurofen, then more paracetamol. The next morning I couldn't move, I was just so sick. So I stayed home, I had a flight to New York the next day which meant I was missing 2 days of school, the 3rd wouldn't harm.

Unfortuantly a rumour had got around school that I had killed myself, when I was actually on holiday. Suprisingly people got upset who I had never thought would of. Of course the chav's had a field day.

This made me dread school even more, but I realised which of the 2 girl's I wanted to be with, and asked her out the thursday in half term. On the first day back at school, I threw up, and the second, and the third, and the fourth and the fifth. I was hardly eating anything now. So we took a trip to the docters who said I was underweight for my height (5ft 8 and a half)...

The last week or so, I haven't been sick. The chav's have shut up and i've got to spend loadsa time with my girlfriend. My english group has sorted itself out as the main chav has left the group and I haven't cut myself for 2 weeks. I haven't smoked for 4.

So there, sorry about boring you to death.

[Rebuild]

I feel sorry for you, you shouldn't harm yourself though. Glad to see everything is gradually getting sorted out.

[Digital]

Dudeee ;[ when I'm in a mad mood i put music on to chill me down and I'm in set 5! for English how do you thing i feel? I also hope you get back to normal

[beth]

Self harm isn't the answer <//3
And I'm sorry you had such a bad time with everything before. And you should be in the top set if you got a 7 :| I got a 7 and I'm in my top set. Anyway, I'm glad stuffs getting sorted out for you and I wish you every success for the future

[Jordan3]

That was an interesting read, I really hope you get your life back on track.

[Revis]

Cheers, and sorry if i've taken it out on anyone.

[joe:-,]

Dont worry about it mate

[$@m]

Well done with getting your life back on track. Did you have a good holiday?

[Lissie152]

Self harm isn't the answer <//3
And I'm sorry you had such a bad time with everything before. And you should be in the top set if you got a 7 :| I got a 7 and I'm in my top set. Anyway, I'm glad stuffs getting sorted out for you and I wish you every success for the future

Yeah me too
And please stop self harming it will just get addictive hun
I hope things clear up for you soon

[Revis]

Holiday was great.
I tend to go out skating instead of self harming now, although I'm **** at skating :p